The Key To Keeping Your Balance Is Knowing When You’ve Lost It

What a dismal Wednesday morning! Although the weather report says we will hit 57 today, it looks awfully dark out. Morning tea is the Turmeric Soothe again. Our tummies are still rumbly here. And I’m sure my attempt at cooking chicken (eww) didn’t help. Tommy said it tasted funny and thus began the great dash for the bathroom.

Last night I dreamed I was being held hostage by Somali pirates. As head of the Pirate Nation, I was confused, but happy to be on a beach. And then I woke up with the thought “What exactly do I NEED to do today?” What do I do just because it’s expected or just because it’s become a habit or routine? I am a creature of habit. I love lists and I get upset when my schedule is disrupted. Yes, I am a control freak. But I am trying not to be.

We can’t control everything. It’s not possible. So how do I find balance between the things I can control and the things I can’t? No clue! How do you do it? Well this morning I wrote a list. Of course. On one side were the things I have total control over and on the other side the things I have no control over. The second list was longer. I hung the first one on the refrigerator and I burned the other in the sink (okay it was a small cauldron).

Did I instantly feel better? Yes and No. With so much uncertainty in our lives, both personal and worldwide, it is hard not to just stick our head in the sand and wait it all out. It’s hard to wake up everyday and not look at the world through rose-colored glasses. Reality is hard!

Balance. That’s what I’m shooting for. Not work vs. home balance. Life balance. I’m going to ponder that today. With a good book in one hand and a cup of Earl Grey in the other. That’s a good start, right?

Enjoy your day!

xx P

Wishing For Snow…or Whipped Cream

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An early morning visit to the Eye Institute did not put me in the best of moods. My appointment was 8:45 and I didn’t get in until almost 10:00. Why does every doctor’s office have only HGTV on? I personally don’t turn on the television during the daytime. And I don’t want to listen to anyone talk so early in the morning. So I was in a bad mood.

The weather is insane. One day it’s almost 70 and the next it’s 24. I’m thinking Bi-Polar. We are all a bit on edge right now, waiting for surgeries and trying not to freak out. The real Ortho surgeon called and they are setting up at the Stephenson Cancer Center for the surgery. We have dear friends who work there so I already feel better.

We may get snow this weekend. I hope so for the kids. We have a great hill to sled down on our property so we shall keep our fingers crossed.

Today my project is to tidy up the tea closets. I had a really good idea to use my empty tins! Pick up from any hardware store or craft store some strong magnets. Secure them to the back of the tin and stick them on the side of your refrigerator! Great for herbs, pens and pencils, flowers or what ever you can think of. It’s a cute look. I have one for packets of honey, one for pens and markers, on for little posies and one with those tiny air plants.

I hope you  are all safe and warm and are able to pause and have a cup of tea.

xx P

Hot Apple Spice Tea and a New Cozy!

Good Monday! Cold but sunny here finally. First let’s talk about this tea. It is Hot Apple Spice loose leaf tea from Harney & Sons. A gift from the lovely Cynthia. Since I was reading Kirsten Weiss’s new book coming on the 26th of February and it has a lot of pie in it, this was the perfect tea. It tastes and smells like the best apple pie ever. It’s naturally sweet and is full of warming,happy spices. I love it.

Pie Hard is a cozy mystery to be released next month and I loved it. If you haven’t read any of Kirsten’s books, you should. She is really good at writing cozy mysteries.

Last year Tommy bought me these little footed cups. For Christmas he gave me a matching teapot. It’s just the right size for 2 people to share tea.

Well, it finally happened to me. Someone sent me a picture of their privates. I was so shocked I immediately forwarded it to Cynthia, who wondered if I had been hacked, and my sister who wondered if I recognized it. No. Didn’t even look at it that close. Poor Cynthia, I’m so sorry! I was in shock that someone would have the audacity to send me a picture of their penis. And that is what it said. ‘My Penis”. I reported him and blocked him. I told Tommy and he said he didn’t know what to make of that but he knew the ladies at work get them a lot. I never thought I would. In hindsight I should have told him I have guns bigger than that, but then I didn’t want to have anything to do with that. I’ll take spam all day, but please do not send me pictures of your lower regions. My momma would have died on the spot.

In other thrilling news, I finished watching The Haunting of Hill House on Netflix. I can only watch it when Tommy is gone because he doesn’t like scary movies. He watched the episode where the ghost appears in the car and almost fell off the sofa. Good news on the Netflix front Grace and Frankie is back this Friday! And I am loving this Britbox thing!

 

Rainy Saturdays and Pretty Pictures

by Audrey T

Saturday! Well we made it through another week relatively unscathed. It’s been rough and I am not going to lie, I don’t want to go through another week like this one.

I’m really in love with this collage. The red against the snow is so pretty. And I’m trying to make everything pretty today. We have been through a rough time and last night we slept good and hard. I mean the covers weren’t even ruffled! So who knows today I may feel up to eating food instead of just tea.

It’s been raining for days. Not like Noah and the Ark rain, just nice steady, good for the crops rain. Also good for reading and drinking tea, which is all I’ve done. This morning I woke up feeling better and already have Tommy’s chili simmering and a couple of boiled eggs for me.

I think we have gotten to a place of peace with the diagnosis. It has us circling the wagons and making our circle tight and safe. No negative people or thoughts, just us snuggling on the sofa every night holding each other tight and watching movies.

I have some new tea reviews coming next week. All good.  I hope your weekend is peaceful and restful.  In the meantime, have a good cuppa and some cake. It’s the week-end!

xx P

WINTER RETURNS BUT WE HAVE TEA!

Someone left the door open and a bit of Winter crept in. It was in the 40’s this morning and of course today we met with the Surgeon. Haven’t even had a proper cup of tea yet.

Let me back up for a second. At my eye visit when the tech asked how my vision was and I just shrugged, she pointed out my shoes were on the wrong feet. I asked Tommy before we left is I was okay and he said yes. I was walking in there like I owned the place with shoes on the wrong feet. So this morning I double checked!

Now we wait for our Cardiologist to sign off on the surgery, which he already said he would do, and then find out when Tommy is having surgery. This is the first time any of the doctors have asked him to drop his pants so they could feel the mass. That made me feel better. When he said he’d never done this before,it made me feel worse. But it’s Tommy’s decision in the end and I have to keep my mouth shut. This morning he told me to keep my mouth shut at the appointment. It was so hard I bit my lip and made it bleed. I had questions. Where did you get your medical degree ( a dental school). Where did you practice before? Why did you leave Saudi Arabia? I already knew the answers, but I wasn’t allowed to grill him. So I’m not talking about it anymore.

I just received a call from the patient. He called Dr. Hawkins, the cardiologist, and is getting in to see his Ortho guy at OU. The nurse was livid his blood pressure was 258 over 152 and they released him! Now I feel so much better and I love him so much for listening to my concerns and not wanting to be a guinea pig for the other doctor.

Plus there is a Starbucks at OU. The Baptists don’t even have a cafe’! It all will work out in the end. Now I’m going to brew a pot of Apple Spice Tea and have what Corbin calls second breakfast.

xx P

Happy News, Sad News But Great Tea!

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Good Morning! It’s Wednesday and I have the house to myself. I had to drink some herbal tea this morning. It’s my own blend and it helps my tummy. It feels like there is always something going on.

Yesterday I had an appointment with Dr. D at the Eye Institute. At 1 p.m. and we didn’t get home until after 4! My pressure in my eye was 38. So for hours I had to sit in the special chair, take a pill and drink tons of water and have drops put in every 10 minutes. And then Dr. D said, “Hey did Lisa tell you I’m moving?” Um, noooooo. Where to? ” Oh, New Mexico, in 2 weeks.” I was gobsmacked. For almost 3 years now he’s been there for me and done all of my surgeries and I am attached. Tommy asked if we were moving to New Mexico too. That’s a solid no. But he is leaving me in good hands with Valerie, who has also been there since the beginning. For the first time since June of 2016 I am off steroids. Just pressure drops for a week or so and my antibiotic drops. I go on those for a week after they remove a stitch, which they did yesterday. Just one. Now I only have 10.

I did good on the vision test and can now start wearing RGP lenses. The hard contacts. As usual I looked like someone had punched me in the eye yesterday and all night, but today things look much better. So that’s good news. And I’ll take that.

A quick shout out to Cynthia for sending me the tea! It was waiting yesterday and it was much appreciated! You know I love you! xx

P

 

Sunny Monday and Lots of Tea

Finally a Monday that isn’t a holiday! Thank you. Everyone is back where they are supposed to be and I am loving that it’s in the 60’s again. Sunshine galore!

It would be difficult to choose a tea today because I’m having them all. Either I was hit by a Mack truck while asleep last night or I’m having a huge flare up. I’m hoping this isn’t some plague type event, but more due to the fact that I ate potatoes and onions last night and as nightshade plants they really cause every joint in my body to hurt. I’m sure the tiny terrorists left some germs here so it could be anything. All I want to do is lay on the floor like a 2-year-old and whine.

Tommy is off today and keeping me supplied with hot water and warm vegetable broth. He won’t stay in the same room as me since I declare I’m dying every other minute. He and Charlaine Harris are in the bedroom ignoring my needs. sniff…sniff.

One of my neighbors is back from a 2 month vacation along with her yappy dog which isn’t helping. So before I do bodily harm to anyone I’m going to post up on the sofa and continue binge watching The Haunting of Hill House.

Enjoy your Monday !

xx p

Good Sunday Morning!

Good Morning! Feeling a bit pink today. I woke up with the most peaceful feeling and I’m running with it! I have a confession to make. I have been doing this weird thing for a week now and I have to say, I love it. If you would have told me I would love it I would have told you to be gone.

Every morning I make my English Breakfast Tea, which is half unsweetened Almond Milk and half tea. Then I plop a half teaspoon of Kerry Gold Butter in there. Yes, I said butter. Real butter and I only use Kerry Gold from Ireland. I stir it up and add a dash of cinnamon and it is smooth and delicious. It sounds gross, but it is not. I even did it with coffee and I love it. Mainly because my tummy loves it.

Tommy’s mass is getting larger but we do have a date with the surgeon this week and I have an eye appointment. The eye appointment I am so looking forward to. After almost 3 years of dealing with the contact lens infection and the transplant and multiple other surgeries I have become dependent on my Corneal Surgeon. And I haven’t seen him in 4 months! That’s a good thing and a bad thing. So we shall see what this year brings for the eye. I’m hoping just the one other surgery and maybe all 11 stitches out.

I dug dip. And I mean deep to find information on the referral surgeon. He received his medical degree at a dental school. Seriously?? But I can’t find anything at all about references or reviews. He’s from Saudi Arabia and other than that he doesn’t seem to exist.

We are actually doing better in the anxiety department. Maybe because we are doing a lot to keep our minds off of this. So far today I have washed all of my windows inside and out, because you know it’s 62 today. I have dinner in the slow cooker. I cleaned all of my ceiling fans, which is dumb because I do it every Monday anyway. I cleaned out the fridge, which was easy as it’s mostly full of wine, Prosecco, milk and tea. And I turned in all of my work that wasn’t due until February! I finished working out already which I am really proud of.

Thank you my dear friend Cynthia for sending me tea! You know just what to do to calm me down. And I appreciate it. My sister cares, but she’s still leaving for Curacao in a few days for the winter and will be busy lying around on the beach with a book and not turning her phone on.

That’s our Sunday so far. How’s yours going?

xx P

A NEW TEA AND A BETTER DOCTOR!

My mantra for the week. Before I forget I have found a new tea! It’s by Twinings and it is called Soothe and soothe it does! Obviously my Crohn’s is going to flare up with stress and not eating. I use turmeric quite a bit for its healing properties and somehow Twinings has gotten the blend just right. It’s turmeric, star anise, orange peel, lemon grass and licorice root.

So good

Being honest, it tastes like a good spice tea with a bit of dirt thrown in. Come on, it’s just like Matcha, that texture it leaves behind is like fine dirt. But it helps so I’ll keep drinking it.

Tommy has been overwhelmed by the amount of good wishes and support from all of y’all and his co-workers. Today’s update is this. We see our doctor tomorrow morning. In the meantime he had a voicemail from a surgeon we don’t know letting him know to call back to schedule the surgery. I’m sorry, what?? We haven’t even met the surgeon yet. He hasn’t looked at him yet. He could be any scalpel wielding serial killer in the Operating Room. So, no. Our heart guy was pissed off on our behalf and so we’re changing doctors. This one seemed a little to eager to cut open my husband without even meeting him.

So we both felt  a tremendous relief with Dr.H in the driver’s seat. You really have to trust your doctor, and we trust Dr. H. and whoever he trusts. And first thing in the morning we will find out what is going on.

Oklahoma City and it’s suburbs are odd. Weather wise. It was sleeting all over last night except at my house. Finally the police put out a text saying they would not be responding to non-injury accidents after having responded to 47 in 3 hours. There were 15 car pile ups, 7 car pile ups, trucks on fire. I-40 was backed up to the border. And all of a sudden I get a text from the kids schools that they are closing today. Are you kidding me?? You promised they would go back today! This morning I was watching the weatherman and he was just in awe of the 1/2 inch of snow blowing over the OU campus, which was closed due to weather. Here we didn’t get any snow, it’s just cold. I went to North Dakota State and I remember walking through 6 feet of snow to get to class and when the snow was past my front door my employer ( the hospital) sent a EMT on a snowmobile to pick me up from my bedroom window. Those are the people who will survive the zombie apocalypse.

So today I’ll not worry about the unknown or the great “snow” storm. Worrying just adds to your anxiety and lord knows the house is full of those damn anxiety fairies. Corbin even asked if I wanted him to bring some fairies from his house! Gotta love him.

I’ll try to be back tomorrow and update this. Stay Warm!!

xxP

 

A LATE HOLIDAY TEA ENTRY AND A FINAL F*** YOU FROM 2018

I realized this morning that I forgot to post this review of the last of my holiday teas. It’s Celestial Seasonings Cranberry Vanilla Wonderland. Caffeine Free! I was so excited by this one. I love cranberries! The aroma was a perfect combination of cranberry and vanilla. I couldn’t wait to taste it.

Now for the not so good news. It has Stevia in it. I kept tasting a bitter taste that just reminded me of chemicals, so I looked and sure enough it had this sweetener in it. With Crohn’s I am not able to eat any type of sweetener except honey. So it was a really great idea, but why put the sweetener in? Oh well.

So today is a tale I would rather not be telling but I need feedback, I need support and I thank my beautiful friend Cynthia for keeping me sane this past few days! She is the most supportive person I have ever met. She even offered to get in her truck and come up to us. I love her for that.

On December 30,  the year decided to give us one more F*** You!  We have been waiting on the results of tests Tommy (the hubby) had done for the tumors on his leg. We figured the one by his hip was just a fatty tumor, but even with our copy of the DVD of the MRI, we couldn’t tell what the other two were. So ‘Ting’ went his phone and it was a notice that results had been dropped in his patient portal. Hello, Dr. E has sent his findings to your surgeon Dr. C. Findings? Malignant neoplasm of connective and soft tissue of left leg and hip. Boom!  And just like that our world started spinning. The Anxiety Fairy brought a few friends even. And of course every doctor was out-of-town until the 3rd. Needless to say the past few days have been horrid. Lots of sobbing, anger and railing at the world about the unfairness of the situation.

The man isn’t even 40 for crying out loud and he has already had a double by-pass and 4 stents and numerous other heart issues. The last one they told me they couldn’t do any more. Things are all scribbly in there and they just can’t. Now he has never had high cholesterol, it’s all genetic. And now this. He is the kindest man you will ever meet and I am still so mad I want to hit someone until they hurt as bad as I do. ( Steel Magnolias.)

This morning he called his Cardiologist, Dr. H. Now that man is on the ball. We have an appointment on Friday. By then he will have all the scan and MRI results and one of his colleagues is an Oncologist right next door and he will walk us straight there if necessary. So our stress went down to a 20.

It’s always nice to begin a new year with a new project. Mine being a lot of research and also trying to figure out how we got mixed up so badly that now everytime I google anything it pops up on his phone! This can not happen. No one should see my browser history. Ever.  So that’s our news. I hope yours is better. Thanks for listening to my garbled mess of a post. And thanks for being a friend.

xx Patricia