Laughing Through Our Tears

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This is a phrase I have been repeating since Friday. Tiny miracles. That is all I’m asking for. Just one.

We were at the clinic before 8 a.m. this morning. The good doctor is setting up surgeons and test times so we can deal with this as soon as possible. What is this?

Friday OU Boy started having really awful pain in his left leg and shortness of breath. Well if you have been here long enough you know that my former husband died of a pulmonary embolism. Panic ensued and we headed for the hospital. After they did an ultrasound of the entire leg and then a body CT with contrast we found out a few things.

One, his esophagus is thickening and he will need a procedure to address and biopsy that. Two, he had an area of shading in his lungs that looked like early pleurisy. Three, he had a mass the size of a tennis ball on his left thigh. This is a man who can tolerate pain more than any person I know, so if he is crying, it is bad.

This morning our doctor told us it may take a few days as it is a holiday this week and we will need Vascular and Neurosurgeon at least plus they want a more detailed MRI. So we don’t know anything until we get in there. There have been copious amounts of tea slurped, bouts of unexpected sobbing, and little sleep. Thank goodness the meds they gave him now are putting him out! But he is scared. I am scared. Hell, the doctors want to know how a 39-year-old man has 5 heart attacks, a CABG, and 5 stents. Plus this other crap now. This may explain his recent weight loss.

Yesterday when I had my Superfoods Smoothie I gave him a small glass. He said he’ll have another please today. I am determined to drag him over the health line kicking and screaming if I have to. I’ve already made two soups full of nutrients.

We have been binge watching Grace and Frankie on Netflix because it allows us to laugh and cry. And that’s life. There’s laughter and there are tears. Together they form a life. So if I’m not here everyday it’s because I am making sure this man is my top priority.

Now I think it’s time for a nap. Have a lovely Thanksgiving. I still have to buy a pie. Count your blessings and know we are thankful for all of you!

xx P

 

26 thoughts on “Laughing Through Our Tears

  1. Liz says:

    Hope everything works out fine. My goodness, as someone has already said, too young for all this. It goes to show anything can happen and I can understand everyone’s panic. Hope your son will be on the mend.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. anne leueen says:

    He is too young , much too young. But the fact that he is young means two things:1. he is able to recover quicker from illness and health difficulties 2. doctors will not write him off as an “old guy” an “old senior” who is ready to go anyway. I wish you the best with this. Holy Basil tea perhaps?

    Liked by 1 person

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