Good Thursday Morning Y’all! Yes, I’m here. Again. While I love my book blog, it is mostly for work and I don’t feel as comfortable writing personal things there. Here, I don’t need a filter.
So, what’s been going on? Well not only did the Crohn’s Fairy pop by but she brought her nasty sister, the Anxiety Fairy. They go hand in hand. Last Monday I had a doctor’s appointment and was told if I lost another pound I would be in the hospital with a feeding tube. Since my last year-long flare when I looked like a malnourished child, I’ve been vigilant about my diet, exercise, and stress management. Running is my drug of choice and it helps stress and makes me feel strong. But little did I know that there was a bomb ticking somewhere else that would impact my health in a big way.
Someone I have loved and respected for a lot of years suddenly called me on the phone and proceeded to verbally attack me over something I had not done. I didn’t even understand what she was talking about and I’m not sure she did either. OU Boy heard the call and was in shock. Was she on drugs? Having a mental breakdown? WTF?
And just like that, I can’t eat. My anxiety is at level 10 and that one pound went quickly. My main goal was to be able to make it to the book festival with Scott Pelley. I did that and came straight home and couldn’t move for days. Crohn’s flares leave you unable to even lift your arm, much less eat.
What happened? I said, Screw this shit, this bitch isn’t worth dying for! So I ran. And ran and felt better and ate broth and drank copious amounts of herbal teas. And blocked her on every outlet I have. Sure, words are free, but the way you use them will cost you. I thought it would be so much more difficult than it was to just chop off the toxic crap, but it wasn’t at all. Much like Trump said yesterday, that to him Pelosi was no longer the speaker of the house, I said, you are no longer in my world.
This morning I brought all the Fall teas to the front of the cabinet, even though it was in the 90’s yesterday. And every night it rains so it’s humid and hot. It makes it hard to get in the Fall mood. But my that Vermont Maple herbal tea this morning made me want to wear boots.
Thanks for listening!