What The Heck is Orange Pekoe?

It’s already afternoon. Where did the time go? We’re inspired by the color orange today!

I have a funny tea related story to tell. My mother-in-law (May she rest in peace) saw me making tea one day. Now normally it’s already done. I’m talking about the iced and sweet variety we keep in the fridge. We’re southern. We go through a gallon a day and by we I mean OU Boy. Anyhow, she sees the teabags steeping and says, ” What the hell is orange pekoe?” Um, it’s the normal black tea everyone uses to make iced tea in America. Her:” I’ve never heard of it and I’m not drinking that shit.” Me: (inside head) Like I give a shit.

She passed away in September of 2014 after a short battle with Stage 4 lung cancer and OU Boy and I both lived with her and took care of her to the last day and she still wasn’t drinking that shit. Every morning she’d head to Sonic for a huge glass of the same stuff I made. Now we laugh about it all the time, with love, since she is currently residing in the closet of my office.

Yesterday we finally nailed down a date we could all live with for my eye surgery. June 25th. Armed with a small file folder full of prescriptions and alternate prescriptions we headed to the pharmacy. One tiny bottle of Combigan was $365.00. However, the two ingredients it is made from are only $28 total! My doctor is a genius at finding bargains. Now they have to order the others that will have to be done after surgery. I am so seriously cheap! I hate spending money on meds or food. I like my money where I can see it. In my closet.

I still haven’t watched the video but I did send my daughter in law my entire file along with the video so she can pick out which parts she thinks I should know. She’s in the business so I trust her.

And since the surgery is at the end of the month OU Boy says we can still go on vacation the second week! It all works out as it should somehow.

Have a great Thursday!

xx Patricia

Life steps in and laughingly says, “Oh, sweetie…no.”

On the Inspiration Board this morning is a picture from St. Thomas. Waiting for my English Breakfast Tea to steep and reading this really great book from Simone St. James.

We are at the end of May and I had such high hopes for June. June 28th is the 2 year anniversary of the dreaded corneal ulcer and the 2 years of treatments and surgeries. So this year I thought I was in the clear and could make plans to hit the beach for a week, go visit my sister, play a lot of golf and tennis and just be happy I don’t have the guard on anymore. But then Life steps in and laughingly says, “Oh, sweetie…no.”

Yesterday was my appointment with Dr. D at the eye institute. We had a heart to heart talk about my progress, why we are moving so slow and where is this all leading? Long story short this June will be no different from the last two. I am having surgery in a couple of weeks. My inbox was full of paperwork this morning as well as a video to watch which I will not do again. No,no. Normally I would have had a lens put back in during my second surgery but it turns out I was missing some rods and stuff to put the lens on. Good news is that I have a lot of good fluid back there, which usually lessens with age. Not mine. Nope. I like to keep as many original parts as possible. So they are going to put me to sleep and go in and surgically sew this new goretex stuff with the lens sewn onto my eyeball. This goretex is what OU Boy’s stints are made of and I will have to carry a card around telling people to back the f*** off my eye!

The reason we hadn’t talked much about this one is because it is risky and he needed to know I understood the risks, such as infection and losing the entire eyeball. Plus I’ll need general anesthesia because even with the twilight sleep stuff I fight the restraints on my arms. I have a strong sense of survival. So that’s that. I’ll be in post-op care for 90 days so there goes another summer down the tubes. But the good news again is that after this surgery they can start taking out stitches from the surgery a year ago when I received the transplant. I still have 11.

I have 5 new drops to fill and each one is around $300. So my lovely doctor broke them down to the 2 components in the one and those two are way cheaper than the one bottle, so it’ll mean more drops but I can still buy shoes.

I am not going to stress about this. I trust my surgeon 100%. He is one of the best in the world. I keep telling myself what a great healer I am. What a great nap I’m going to have. That now I’m a risk taker. Well that one maybe isn’t new. I mean I have no rod thingys because of previous head trauma so obviously I do risky stuff, but this is the right thing, I know.

Today I’m going to just drink tea and sit in the sunshine while I still can!

xx Patricia

Everything’s Gonna Be All Right!

Good Thursday morning! Sipping on a lovely Assam Tea from Taylor’s of Harrogate. It has the loveliest aroma and a nice malty taste. Getting ready to head back to Dean McGee and let them take my eye pressure again. I’m pretty sure it’s better.

When I saw my shrink on Tuesday I told him I needed to go back on my meds. I felt like it was the best thing for my sanity and my eye. Turns out there is something to that. I don’t know what, but when I took a pill late yesterday and my eye felt normal. And so did I!

Yesterday we picked up the sofa we had ordered. The love seat and the 2 chairs and ottoman should be ready in a few weeks. I love a structured sofa. And I love the look of natural linen. The pillows that come with the sofa have writing on them and so do the 2 chairs. But look what they say. Tea! They have all kinds and places of tea. You could also get them in French script. Or anything you choose really. I was so in love with it once we cut it loose from the yards of plastic and cardboard. What do you think?

I haven’t decided on curtains yet. I don’t want to mess up the perfect walls.

I am off to the eye institute. And then to the market. I hope you have a wonderful day.

xx Patricia

 

Feeling Anxiety? Try a “Grounding” Tool!

Good Morning! The heat is on here and we are switching our teas up. The strong black teas going to the back of the cupboard and the green and herbals going to the front. This morning it’s Harney and Sons Blueberry Green Tea. It’s light but so full of flavor and the aroma is heavenly. Most Barnes and Noble stores carry Harney and Sons.

Yesterday was a roller coaster of feelings. I was not calm, my hands were sweating so badly and I was snapping at everyone. We got home from the eye institute around 7 last night. It was a really long day.

Good news is that my corneal transplant is good. It is humming right along and all of my stitches are fine. It is a pressure problem. Normal eye pressure is 12 to 22 HG and mine was almost 40. This is not uncommon for those people, like me, who have been on massive amounts of steroid drops. I’ve been on them non-stop for almost 2 years now. They can cause cataracts and high pressure or high blood pressure in the eye. Is it a coincidence that I just went off my calming meds and get this? I don’t know but I have an appointment today with my Psychiatrist.

One thing you should know is that I am terrified of taking medicines that I have never taken before. So when Dr. Davis said “Do you have any kidney problems?” I thought oh heck, he’s going to give me some kind of pill. Sure enough he did. I don’t know what it is but it sucks all the moisture out of your body and leaves you with the driest mouth and throat! I drank so much water I was in the bathroom every 5 minutes. It goes straight through your kidneys. I was supposed to be on them for a few days at least but I had a strange reaction so we are sticking with pressure drops and reducing the steroids. By the time I left last night it was down to 18. I love how he said, “Well you may get to see your friend Dr. Bailey again, he specializes in steroid induced glaucoma and could do a quick procedure to help out.” Yeah, I don’t like him that much.

So today I go see my head doctor and will tell him that for now I’m going back on the meds. Dr. Davis said I need to. I am unable to calm myself physically and the meds help me with that. I prayed the other day that if I was going to have any eye issues let them show up before July, well, that one was answered! But I’m not willing to have this particular issue. So a smaller dose, but still controlling my blood pressure and my mind, I will just suck it up.

Thank you for all of your support yesterday. Today my eye is definitely feeling better. My shoulders are as sore as heck from stress, but that will go away eventually. I go back tomorrow so we shall see.

Have a great Tuesday and Stay Calm!   xx Patricia

WAITING ON THE EYE DOCTOR

Monday morning! The first day in a long time that I have not had any tea brewing. I’m trying not to eat or drink anything until after my eye doctor appointment today.

Saturday while at the crawfish birthday boil my eye started to feel funny. A bit tight and blurry. I noticed I couldn’t keep my balance. It has gotten worse since then and we’ll see in a little bit what is wrong. Could I have picked a worse time to stop my anxiety meds? So I’m trying very hard to not stress, but it’s not working. Even OU Boy is stressed about it. Is the transplant rejecting? It’s going to be a long day.

We had a great time at my son’s. The kids swam and jumped on the trampoline and I ate until my mouth was burning from the spices. But oh was it good. I had Red Velvet Cake when we got home. It helped with the burning….yeah, let’s say that.

I finally slept last night. All night too. Didn’t wake up until after 7 this morning. So that’s good. Keep your fingers crossed that all goes well at the eye clinic and I’ll let you know later what happens.

Thanks so much   xx Patricia

DONUTS, CRAWFISH, and XANAX

It’s the weekend! And it’s going to be beautiful. Almost no wind, bright sunshine and fun times ahead.

I was drinking tea at 4 a.m. when I should have been sleeping. Then OU Boy woke up and went to get birthday donuts. Of which we ate one bite each before declaring them too sweet.

So it’s been another year and what have I learned?

I’ve learned that life can always surprise you. Just when you think you know what is happening….boom….you don’t. I have no control over anyone or anything. Just go with the flow. Yes, that is what I’ve learned. Go with the flow. But make sure it’s your flow and not someone else’s. Be kind. You will never regret it. Be polite. Everyone will remember it. Be content. Where you are.

 

Before I go enjoy my day I did want to say thanks for sticking with me and getting me over this rough week of detoxing from the Xanax. I am ready for life, unmedicated. I sure hope it’s ready for me.

Brittany Fuson Paper | Shop | Greeting Cards to me! And all of you other lucky May Babies!  xx Patricia

It’s Friday! Let the Sun Shine!

Good Morning! It’s Friday and I’m starting off with a cup of Harney and Sons Green Blueberry Tea, which is a delight for the nose and the mouth!

I got some sleep last night, but I’m not going to pretend this is easy because it isn’t. I’m drinking a lot of tea and spending a lot of time reading. We keep the monthly Trader Joe’s booklet in the bathroom. It makes for fun reading. Anyway we saw this ad for Persian Cucumbers, which I didn’t even know were a thing, and the way they describe it..well, here.

Some people are surprisingly cool on cucumbers. We consider this one of life’s mysteries. Perhaps these people have never tried one of our Persian versions of the fruit. Yes it is a fruit. If someone less than impressed with curcubitae were to sample our smooth, thin-skinned cukes…experiencing their aromatic sweetness, and their tender, yet crisp bite…we believe they would change their cucumber-tune in a flash. I mean are we still talking about food here? Someone loves their cukes! 

You have to take your fun where you can find it some days. Books, tea and laughter will get you through a lot. I’m reading a good tale by Jo Nesbo.  Norwegian Detective in Australia. Different.

Back to the books! Have a good Friday and Be Good To Yourself!

xx Patricia

 

Some Pink Flamingo Love

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I am late getting on here today. It is storm season in Oklahoma and our weather guys live for this time. We knew yesterday was going to be a severe weather day and it was. David Payne was on television interrupting my Survivor time until after I went to bed and it was still thundering and lightening and blowing rain and wind this morning.

Other than the pool overflowing and water coming up to the sidewalk, we were okay. It seems every year either Moore or Shawnee get slammed with tornadoes and I saw a church sign that said “Dear God, It’s starting to feel personal. Moore, OK.” Poor guys.

I’ve been awake since 5 this morning and have no idea what to do that time of day so I read. And I thought. I’m doing pretty well with no anxiety meds. So far my tummy has been upset a bit which could just be my Crohn’s and I’m having trouble sleeping which could be the big ass street light. I’m not jittery or icky feeling but I am noticing things. Food tastes too everything. Too salty, too sweet, just too much and this is an issue for me because I need to want to eat. A lot of the withdrawal effects are the same effects I have when I forget to eat and I’m just noticing that so I am trying to eat something every few hours. All in all it is much better than I expected.

We shall see how it holds up this weekend. Saturday is my birthday and my son is having a crawfish boil so that should be fun and crazy and loud with dogs, kids and friends and family. We have a lot to cram into May! Next weekend OU Boy’s brother graduates from the big town of Union City High School. They have like one 4 way Stop sign. It is tiny.

Anyone have any sleep remedies? Not Melatonin. Can’t do that. Let me know. I’m off to finish The Perfect Couple by Elin Hilderbrand. It’s good!

Have a Pink Day! xx Patricia

TAYLOR’S ORGANIC CHAMOMILE TEA

This was one of the teas I had samples for. It was a lovely color and it tasted like summer. Every sip reminded me of summer. Herbs and fresh-cut grass. Was it my favorite? No. But it was nice.

And we need nice. I have been awake since about 4 this morning. I was up a few hours later and I don’t think I need to be up and about at the same time as normal people. It was an odd experience seeing OU Boy’s morning habits. I probably shouldn’t do that, at least for a while. I am stopping my anxiety meds. I have been tapering off of them for a month and now I’m down to none and am feeling everything.

Food tastes different. I feel lighter. Yesterday was rough. It still felt like I was holding a live wire in my hand, but I got through it. I didn’t know how it would affect my sleep last night and I’m not sure it did. I keep repeating This is my new normal…over and over. I have definitely done more. Before noon I had done 4 loads of laundry, read a book, reviewed said book and had lots of tea. I had finished all of my email business and I was ready for whatever.

We are bracing for severe weather here. I think they may be just hoping for it in the storm center. That is really not what I need at the moment. A tornado and no Xanax, but I made this decision. I don’t want to be on meds. I want to be in control of my mind and body so I’m rambling on here rather than biting my fingernails. Thank you for listening.

Enjoy your day and thanks for the support!

xx Patricia

 

HAPPY MAY DAY!

May is starting off bright and sunny this morning! Did you find a May basket on  your door this morning? OU Boy was spot on with his lovely wildflower bouquet. Thanks honey!

Yesterday I was so paralyzed with anxiety. I had to go to the Social Security offices to sign a document. I was not prepared. Way too many people and they have a set up like the airport except you don’t take your shoes off.  That was disconcerting as I wasn’t sure if I had any weapons or not. They even take your pepper spray. Sitting there waiting was torture.

When I finally got to my person to sign a document that had gotten lost in the ethernet, in comes a lady with not one but two ankle monitors! She was here to see why she wasn’t getting her benefits. Seriously? Maybe it has something to do with those bright orange ankle things!

All of that had me wringing my hands and ready to go through the roof. As if that wasn’t enough I also found out yesterday that I have to testify in Federal Court. It was like the Anxiety Fairy brought all of her friends at once and I was like a deer in the headlights.

Today I’m trying very hard to enjoy May Day since it is the most important month of all. Being the month of my birth and all. So I’m starting by sharing my anxiety with y’all and then being kind to myself today. Giving myself a pep talk. It will be all right in the end.

Happy May Day! A new month, a clean slate, another chance to reinvent yourself and your world. Have some tea and be kind to yourself.

xx Patricia