Don’t You Want To Build A Snowman?

Still no snow! I’m beginning to think the weather man is in cahoots with the bread company. They keep promising, but it’s still going to be 60 degrees today. I don’t love snow. At. All. But we love us some snow people. Or maybe just marshmallows.

Yesterday I finally tried the Golden Milk Latte, made with Almond Milk and Turmeric. It was really good actually. I think I’ll keep it in the rotation.

I’m going to be taking a break from the blog for a bit. I’ll still have the book blog however and will still keep up with y’all’s shenanigans. We had the surgeons visit yesterday. And we spent the rest of the day clinging to each other and crying. Tommy took a pain pill and slept and I seriously sat and stared at the wall with my mind blank. We knew there was a mass on his thigh. We did not however know that there was a huge one on his pelvis. So the next few weeks will be tests for the Ortho doctor and praying for good news with the surgery. With everything up in the air I can’t commit to much for now.

Now that we have had a day to absorb this, we really aren’t saying much to our families. I’m sure none of them read this blog. We are not going to speak something bad in to existence, we are not going to be negative. We are each others greatest strength and the scars we have prove we showed up for life. We fought and we won. We will win again. In the meantime….I weave strong shining threads into a patchwork of magic…it comforts us as we wait for the world to right itself.

Happiest of Holidays to you all. Keep being awesome!

Much Love

P

 

We’re All Mad Here!

Blue Monday. Since I was having Harney and Sons Yellow and Blue Tea this morning. It’s a lovely blend of Chamomile and Lavender with Cornflowers. It’s caffeine free and very calming. And since I am seeing my therapist in a couple of hours I needed calm.

Not so much from the visit, it’s the people in the waiting room. They seem to want to talk before they go in. A warm up I guess of what they are paying someone to hear them talk about.

The weather is still weird. Shorts one day and all the clothes you own the next. But none of the dreaded snow they keep predicting. We just had the one day of snow. If you blinked you missed it.

The stress of waiting for Tommy’s surgery is making me a bit snippy. I was outside yesterday when a neighbor commented that she loved the Menorah in my window. And then she said, ‘ I didn’t know you were Jewish.’ To which I said,” Well deep down and going all the way back, aren’t we all really?” I’m fairly sure she won’t talk to me again. Sarcasm is running rampant. And it isn’t even a menorah. It’s a candelabra set a friend gave us and it is beautiful and blue and was made by the company that originally made toilets. During the big war they didn’t have as much demand for those so until the war was over they made beautiful oval commode bowls and these double candle holders.

So I have to go cook now. Tommy can barely walk and this is seriously impacting my food delivery system. And my grocery shopping. I did cook a turkey Friday. I didn’t actually touch it or anything. I went and found my neighbor and he pulled out the icky bits and all I had to do was put in the oven. I wasn’t sure about the ‘neck’. I almost threw up when that came out. But Tommy was impressed and ate it and isn’t dead, so now I’m a gourmet cook.

Monday Love! xx P

WHAT WOULD WONDER WOMAN DO?

Friday Funday! Drinking my lovely cup of tea and watching the orange man in the oval office unravel as his entire crime family crumbles. I personally apologized to Trudeau and asked if I could come back to Canada. I find myself wondering  What would Wonder Woman do? Get that lasso of truth out and take care of business.

It’s difficult to remain mellow and nice when our pretentious country is in shambles and the state of Mississippi proved once again that they are racist and proud of it. Mississippi you are dead to me now. You elected a woman who is a known racist and bigot and who said publicly she would go to a public hanging. WTF is wrong with you people? Well I can tell you it’s the same thing that is wrong with Oklahoma. This time around at least we got those Democratic women in office. But like Mississippi, we are at the bottom in everything that matters including education and at the top in things like obesity. So we are raising a bunch of illiterate fat people. Yeah!

Common sense much like common decency is becoming less and less common. That’s my rant for Friday. Actually it helps take my mind off of the waiting and worrying about Tommy so if I hit a nerve, I apologize. ( no she doesn’t).

xx P

 

 

 

CUT TO THE CHAISE WITH A NICE CUPPA

This Cozy Mystery debuted this week. It was really good.

And what goes better with a Cozy Mystery than a nice cuppa?

It’s back to shorts weather today. I’m still not sure where I got all of that intense energy yesterday. I did start using Moringa in my SuperFood Smoothies so I may have to back off of that one. Energetic is not one of my goals. Being cared for by an adoring billionaire on the other hand is. Sorry honey.

I completely re-arranged my bedroom so I would have more space on one side, flipped the mattress and cleaned the blinds even. Normally I only clean ceiling fans and blinds on the first Monday. I think I was just trying to put something in order because my brain was not in order. It feels as if we are in a holding pattern. Unable to make even the simplest of decisions until we know the outcome of Tommy’s surgeries. He is still in a lot of pain so our appointment can’t get here soon enough.

Have a good evening and keep us in your thoughts!

xx P

GOOD BYE NOVEMBER….You Sucked.

Our last week of November. The last days of Fall. And oh holy batman is today rough! All night the wind blew at around 40 to 56 mph. It was horrible. Our high temp for the day occurred at midnight last night. 50 degrees. Now it’s 40 and soon it will be in the 20’s.

Now mind you yesterday and the day before I was in shorts and a tank top. This is craziness.

Thanksgiving at my son Mike’s was perfect. Beautiful setting and great food and drink. Bing Crosby was crooning on the record player. It was just what we needed. Calm, peaceful and lots of love. Then Miss Evangeline turned 11 on Friday. We now have matching Fire Tablets. Sharing my love of reading makes me love her even more.

We have our appointments lined up and now that the shock has worn off a bit, I guess I feel better. I’m not bursting into tears every few minutes.

I have a question for you ladies. Do you ever feel invisible? I swear for 15 years I have felt invisible to my husband’s family. Yesterday his aunt called to tell him to come by Monday evening as she was taking him to the furniture store to buy him a recliner. I wasn’t mentioned. Is this normal? Because in my experience it is not. Who buys you a piece of furniture without consulting the person who handles the home? I am not a recliner person. She knows this as she offered us one before and we said no thank you.

I mean who does this? I’ve been married 5 times. I’ve had a good mother in law and some real horrid ones, but they never brought us furniture. I was really good with the one that gave me straight up cash in an envelope. Or a cruise. Or one time a piano that I had mentioned I wanted.

I guess I’m supposed to just be quiet and pretend it doesn’t hurt my feelings but it does. And right now I’m not in the mood for that bullshit. So keep your recliner and your money for all the cat food you need.

I would say sorry for being bitchy but I’m not so I won’t.

xx P

Laughing Through Our Tears

a7409057d42d5a428d2d50ab2cb34ad3

This is a phrase I have been repeating since Friday. Tiny miracles. That is all I’m asking for. Just one.

We were at the clinic before 8 a.m. this morning. The good doctor is setting up surgeons and test times so we can deal with this as soon as possible. What is this?

Friday OU Boy started having really awful pain in his left leg and shortness of breath. Well if you have been here long enough you know that my former husband died of a pulmonary embolism. Panic ensued and we headed for the hospital. After they did an ultrasound of the entire leg and then a body CT with contrast we found out a few things.

One, his esophagus is thickening and he will need a procedure to address and biopsy that. Two, he had an area of shading in his lungs that looked like early pleurisy. Three, he had a mass the size of a tennis ball on his left thigh. This is a man who can tolerate pain more than any person I know, so if he is crying, it is bad.

This morning our doctor told us it may take a few days as it is a holiday this week and we will need Vascular and Neurosurgeon at least plus they want a more detailed MRI. So we don’t know anything until we get in there. There have been copious amounts of tea slurped, bouts of unexpected sobbing, and little sleep. Thank goodness the meds they gave him now are putting him out! But he is scared. I am scared. Hell, the doctors want to know how a 39-year-old man has 5 heart attacks, a CABG, and 5 stents. Plus this other crap now. This may explain his recent weight loss.

Yesterday when I had my Superfoods Smoothie I gave him a small glass. He said he’ll have another please today. I am determined to drag him over the health line kicking and screaming if I have to. I’ve already made two soups full of nutrients.

We have been binge watching Grace and Frankie on Netflix because it allows us to laugh and cry. And that’s life. There’s laughter and there are tears. Together they form a life. So if I’m not here everyday it’s because I am making sure this man is my top priority.

Now I think it’s time for a nap. Have a lovely Thanksgiving. I still have to buy a pie. Count your blessings and know we are thankful for all of you!

xx P

 

Today’s Mood….Tired With a Touch of Anxiety

bluemood

So far Monday has been a multiple cups of strong tea day. It was 20 degrees outside and cold!

This has been a week-end. And because it has been a pretty bad one which included a trip to the ER, a lot of tears and hopefully soon some answers.

I am trying to keep that darn anxiety fairy quiet and calmly digest what our next move should be so OU Boy and I posted up on the sofas and watched Netflix. He was doped up on pain meds and I was randomly bursting into tears so watching Grace and Frankie was good. We cried, we laughed and went to bed very early as we had not slept the night before.

So, for a bit I may not be here as much. My first job is this man I love and I’m determined to fix him. All good wishes and prayers are welcome and appreciated.

xx P

The ANXIETY FAIRY SNUCK IN THE HOUSE!

Good All Hallows Eve! Blessed Samhain! I haven’t even had any tea yet and it is almost noon. Why? I’m waiting on that plumber again!

Also the Anxiety Fairy snuck in the door this morning and all I want to do is cry. Part of it is the distance between myself and some people I love. Physical distance and emotional. I want to do something about that but in come all of the ‘What If’s”. What if I’m bothering them? What if they don’t want to hear from me? What if they think I don’t love them?

Do they understand I have a severe anxiety disorder and PTSD from something that happened where they live? Will they understand just hearing an accent from there will put me right back on the floor? Or the shame and guilt I still live with? Of course it’s irrational, the logical brain of mine knows. My body and my heart, not so much.

But I’m going to try. I’m going to extend a hand. New year, new me. Courage is doing it while being scared out of your mind. That’s brave, right?

Tonight I will sweep the old out the door and invite the fey in to dance and eat peanut butter cups. Note to self: You may have a peanut butter problem babe!

Happy Whatever you are doing! Thanks for being here.

xx P

SUNDAY, NOT FUNDAY, FUNNIES

   And this is one of those days.

   For all of us with social anxiety. Good idea.

   Of course I would expect some reciprocity here Cynthia.

My sanity is wearing thin these days, Janet. Vi  And this is why Janet had to go.

Morning Funny Memes 39 Pics   Sorry Momma….

  Tune in next week for our new Reality Show!

And as I leave you to go contemplate my navel, Could someone send the British back? Yeah, this isn’t working out. Time to go home to the Motherland. Thanks!

Muah!   P

ALLERGIES, HURRICANES,and BAD BOOKS

Happy Wednesday! So many things going on it’s hard keep out the anxiety fairy this week. Yesterday I felt useless. Emotional and starting a cough. In the wee hours of the morning I coughed myself out of bed. Checked my phone and there was an allergy alert. Stay in doors. That is what it said. So I made a nice cup of Taylor’s English Breakfast with a dollop of honey and went back to bed. The cough settled down a bit but my head feels like it’s twice its normal size!

As much as I hate to admit it. The morning temperatures are saying Fall is coming. Not happy about that. We are hoping our families in the Carolina’s will be safe with this hurricane knocking on their door. They have decided not to evacuate, which I think is ridiculous but to each his own.

For like the first time ever an author made a comment on one of my reviews of her self-published book on plant-based eating. And this is the reason I don’t do self-published works. I didn’t like the book and a lot of the recipes were already in another book. There was a lot of soy and fake meat recipes. I didn’t care for it and said so. She wants me to read it again and give it a better score. I said no thanks, the first time was bad enough and then I blocked her. So my morning is starting off with a bang!

Today I shall climb back into my bed with more tea and an actual good book and put on my rose-colored glasses. Everything is better in pink!

Have a good one and if you live in OKC, stay inside. Or bring me cookies.

xx Patricia