The One Where We Go To The Ballpark and Come Home With a Black Eye!

Hello, you big yellow sun! How about we get together in a bit? I’m feeling in the pink today.

First, Momma solved the mystery. It was my brother who sent the Ensure. I so knew that. For Mother’s Day. I’m surprised he didn’t just send a coffin. He is the least sentimental person I know. Lawyers! But she was good with it. She likes the Strawberry ones.

Mr. Smokes is doing well. He was waiting at the door last night for his dinner and was purring happily. Then we had to drive to Wheeler Park for Charli Ava’s softball game, which they won!!!  Okay, so the other team didn’t have enough players to play or a coach. So we are still 3 and 0. Due to all of the rain, it’s been impossible to get everyone there but our team scrimmaged and part one was hilarious and part two was not.

Every time she gets on first she and the little boy are smiling and chatting. I told her to stop talking to him, but no.  So, he is playing first base and she hits a ground ball and he tags her out as she steps on base. I went into the dugout and she says, ” Why was I out?”

“Well, honey because he is not your friend. When you are on the field you have to ignore those boys because they are just trying to throw you off your game. During the game, they are the enemy.”  She wanted a challenge on the ruling. Her daddy told her to learn how to use her ‘girliness’ to her advantage. It’s a good thing she’s smart.

Corbin and I were sitting on the first bench of the bleachers when out of nowhere a ball brutally hit me in the face. In the eye. The eye with stitches in it. I had my sunglasses on and they were knocked off. It could have been worse. I have a black eye but hopefully no damage that I can tell. My son was upset because neither the kid or the parents apologized. This kid was throwing the ball in the bleachers! The parents just stood there looking at me. Being my child, Mike wasn’t letting it go and proceeded to make a speech about people not watching their children or teaching them accountability.

We have one more game to go to on Saturday and then I’m not going anywhere near balls!

Y’all have fun!

xx P

How Can I Feel So Bad and Yet Look So Good?!

Yep, the plague has arrived! On a Friday!  The sun is shining and there is a group of kids playing at the park across the street as it is their last day of school and I just want them gone. That’s the kind of sick we are.

Tommy was really getting sick at dinner Wednesday night and yesterday he was in full-blown stomach flu mode. I have to admit I may not have been as sympathetic as I could have been. See Below.

sickballs

I knew I should have never let that man sleep with me! Around 3 in the morning I was headed to the kitchen for water! Wrong move. I’m just moving into the bathroom now. The man left me here alone crying in the bathroom. I swear he left early and snuck out just so he didn’t have to hear me whine. But he did make coffee. And I did return it to the toilet.

And just to make sure he knew how valuable I am I sent him this from Twitter DM’s.

Tommy wrote back, ” He called you simple and made it sound sexy”. Someone needs to recognize my virtue and Queenliness. I have no idea who this man is but he is a sweet talker! LOL

Y’all be good, I’m going to take some meds and sleep!

xx P

Planting The Garden

Just as Spring has come to us I saw this morning that snow is still hanging on as long as it can up north. I’m so sorry. It may be windy as the devil here but it’s warm and sunshiny and I’m starting in the Herb garden this afternoon.

I love fresh herbs year round and we usually have Rosemary and Lavender year round so those are taken care of. My mint is up and growing nicely and I think some Dill and Lemongrass, Chives and Cilantro and Parsley.

I need to catch up on reading this weekend so that is where I will be. I hope you all are enjoying your Saturday. Since we have had so much rain on Saturdays lately today is back to back baseball for Charli. Go Dodgers!

xx P     www.piratepatty.com

AT THIS POINT WE ARE REALLY JUST WINGING IT!

Piratepatty

Oh the many shades of yellow this time of year! As we were driving to multiple baseball practices yesterday evening we saw so many beautiful flowers. One home was surrounded by white tulips. It was a very bold choice but it worked very well.

I am basically just mainlining Chai today. You know the saying, ” Man plans and God laughs”….yep. I was prepared for anything. Except a last-minute field change for Charli Ava. We were dropped off and the boys headed for the Boathouse District for Corbin’s practice. Long story short, my girl got on base every time she hit and got stuck on second flirting with a boy on second and the little boy on first just ran around her. It was funny as heck. The team is made up of first timers and they all admitted to being nervous and scared. Having coached this age before I explained how things worked. Like what a bag is or a base. Somehow I’m now the Team Mom and will have snack duty for the rest of Spring.

Tommy picked us up and we all went to get Corbin. His Uncle was there with his little one. We arrive, James and Corbin have been horsing around and Corbin slid into a base and scraped his knee so now it’s blowing like crazy out and cold, Corbin is declaring his imminent demise while shoving muffin in his face and bleeding on my seats. Luckily we had a quick dinner before we left for the fields. Corbin couldn’t take a bath because he was dying and no one cared and if he got in the tub he would for sure die. Y’all know we are a dramatic bunch of Scots/Irish/Norwegian folks. We can spin a yarn, die on a daily basis and be stubborn as hell. So we chose not to fight this battle. Everyone was in bed on time and asleep soon after. Then we just sat there and stared at the blank television. Wondering if my Momma had wine. And is it okay to sleep in your clothes?

Around midnight or so we had a vicious storm move through. Big thunder and lightning which ended with Tommy sleeping in Corbins room until the storm passed. The only one who was an adult was Charli. She gets up as soon as the alarm goes off, makes her bed, hits up the bathroom rituals and eats breakfast she made herself. We had to re-bandage the scraped knee and get our Picture Day clothes on. By the time they were all out the door with lunches and backpacks I was understanding why my mother was always in a bad mood. Tommy just looked at me and said, “Thank you for not getting knocked up!”. My pleasure dude.

Corbin suggested that he call in sick on Friday because we needed to rest. I’m not one bit ashamed of at least thinking about it. But no activities tonight so it should be calmer. Should.

To all of you moms and dads out there getting your kids to school and practices on time…I salute you!  To the mom at practice who agreed it is okay to Uber them, I have wine now. Come over.

xx P

Dying Easter Eggs With Tea and Those Damn Fairies!

Good Morning!  Doing some experimenting with tea dyed eggs today. I really love the softness of the colors. I opened one of the eggs I used black tea on and inside the white was a lovely marbling that I adored. Also the egg was tasty. Quality control. Tough job.

The Anxiety Fairy brought her ugly sister The Doubt Fairy and parked their baggage all over my poor brain. We have been through a lot this past year and just as I was evening out all the wires got crossed. I found myself looking for a fight. I blocked a sister on social media. I sent Tommy to work on his day off. It was awful.

So I sat down with The Get Your Shit Together Fairy and she told me to talk to Tommy. Bounce concerns off him and get his input. Now I try never to bounce anything off Tommy. Because he is a guy and they usually want to ‘fix’ it instead of just listening and offering suggestions. So I wrote it all down and called him home and told him my head was in chaos and therefore my life was in chaos.

He pointed out that I have a hard time saying no and maybe a trip to the antique mall would help calm me down and then maybe to the library to smell books.  I found the perfect planner and program to keep track of all my book reviews. In the end I had a new kitchen table, some fine books, a baby pie and the two end tables we had been looking for to go in the workout/reading room. Then he spent the rest of the night helping me get everything organized in my planner. I love him.

He even tried Yoga for a hot minute. Now that my house and my business are in order the two hoochie fairies in my head slunk out the door. I am so grateful to have someone who loves me so much that he takes the psycho me along with the kind me.

Since my son and his wife are flying to D.C. the first week of April to pick up a school bus and drive it back, Corbin and Charli Ava will be with us. That means getting up earlier and making breakfasts and lunches. And one of those days is picture day for Corbin, who will try to sneak his Nike outfit in his book bag. So my comb and hairspray will be at school that day. Normally they wear uniforms so on a non uniform day he wants to show off his new outfit. Not happening.

Miss Charli Ava is staying over Friday night so she can be with me at 2 book signings on Saturday. One in Edmond and one in Norman. Opposite ends of I-35, but we’ll make it work. In the meantime I’m just not watching news anymore. I am waiting for Queen Elizabeth to send in the troops as it is glaringly obivous we can not govern ourselves. We need a do-over bad!

Have a good Wednesday and thanks for listening to me. It really does help knowing you aren’t alone!

xx P

 

ACTUALLY I CAN AND I DID!

Tomorrow is Friday and I could not be happier! Like a seagull with a french fry happy! I just want this week over. As I am sitting here gazing out my window and sipping this lovely Jasmine Green Tea that a lovely lady brought back from Taiwan. It’s so smooth and delicate and the leaves themselves are beautiful.

This week I said NO. After a long couple of weeks since Tommy has slipped on the ice and landed on his surgery side. No stitches were broken but he is banged up and has a lot of water on his knee which they will drain Monday. I was having major anxiety over a few things and I started losing weight again. Tommy kept telling me to just say no, just tell the truth. That I do not want to be in that big of a crowd. I had reasons lined up why I couldn’t say no, but then he took one of the issues and handled it himself and I realized, well, yes, actually, I can say no. So I did. And the world did not fall apart. No one died. No one hated me. I finally mattered enough to myself to put my foot down. It felt good.

Spring Break starts next week so I am filling the craft boxes and getting the tennis rackets out for the kids. Yesterday it was so gorgeous out that I washed all of my windows and screens, inside and out. Of course than I slid in the soapy water and almost ended up on my tush. But there is something so wonderful about throwing open the windows and letting the fresh air and sunshine flood the house. The fairies were very happy except for that anxiety fairy and we all know she’s just a Debbie Downer!

Enjoy your day and I hope you take time for yourself and know that You Matter! And yes, you can say NO.

xxP

MARDI GRAS MEMORIES

Happy Wednesday! It’s doing something outside. Not rain, but freezing little pellets turning the streets into ice rinks. Tommy called on his way to work and said there were emergency vehicles everywhere and wrecks and backed up traffic.

Yesterday we had a back up on I-35 because of a load of toilet paper being flung like Mardi Gras beads from a float! Not sure what that was but I would have picked those suckers up!

Mardi Gras is the thing we miss the most living away from the coast. 3 days out of school, parades and balls begin in January and will culminate with the biggest Krewes rolling on the big day itself March 5th. The one we look forward to the most is the Pass Christian parade. Somebody always gets shot at or just shot at that one. Hopefully not this year as my sweetie pie niece, Baleigh, is a Maid for the first time! So much fun.

We decorate the heck out of anything that will hold still! Nails, hair, lots of wine glasses, wreaths and my mother in law even has trees! Like Christmas! Since our Krewe of Hera always kicked off the season as the first ball and always on New Year’s Eve, it was a long time before I ever did anything on that night except put on a costume or a ball gown and let the good times roll. I mean who doesn’t like a good ball, with a mask on?? Good Times!

I was going to go for a run but then I opened the door and that didn’t happen. Ye Gods people make up your mind on the weather situation! The ducks are back in the pool, that means its warm time. Get it together.

I hope you are staying warm and safe! I am doing my nails because tomorrow the Publisher’s Clearinghouse People said they would be in my neighborhood, and we all know they don’t lie….js

xx P

Happy Monday~ GREAT NEWS!!

Happy Monday~ It has been a long weekend here. Cold too. I hope you are all safe and warm.

Friday’s surgery was an all day affair. We finally got back to the OR and of course I asked Dr. White if I could see the tumor. He was very quick to offer to take a picture. Almost gleeful. Aunt Gayle and I posted up it the waiting area right out side the OR with about 50 other people who had not read the memo on NO CHILDREN BEYOND THIS POINT. So I pointed it out to them. For hours I drank tea, listened shamelessly to other people’s conversations and silently judged the ones who had NOT turned their phones off. Well maybe not so silently, but I was stressed.

A few hours in I received a call from Diane in the OR to meet the good doctor in the hall real quick. We were like giddy kids doing something behind our parents back! He had the picture and then took my phone and took one next to a ruler so you all could share in the gory thing he and I decided to call “Da Tumor” in our best Terminator voices.

So for the squeamish or faint of heart, look away!

I sent it to my sister and said, “We had a baby! It’s a boy/girl/mutant!” Actually our Oncologist said he is certain it is not cancerous, although we are waiting on final confirmation from the pathologist. Just a bunch of fat. Which Gayle and I wondered if it had just banded together and formed this long 2 pound ovoid and how could we get our fat to work that out???

The weekend was spent doling out meds. Oxycodone and Tommy don’t really go well together. Lots of throwing up and passing out. Today he is going down to just Motrin and believe it or not he’s going back to work on Wednesday. He has slept a lot and I have read a lot. Plus my mother went home from the hospital on Saturday.

I want to take a minute to say Thank You to all of you who were praying and sending us good thoughts! It means the world to us. After surgery when he could sit up we just clung to each other and prayed and gave thanks and cried and released a ton of weight off of our shoulders.

The up side of this is how seriously he is taking his recovery and drinking SuperFood Smoothies with me and hardly drinking any iced sweet tea. But a lot of herbal tea.

I’m headed to the market as I don’t think he will live on spinach much longer!

Happy Monday and Here is a big hug and kisses for you all!

xx P

THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!

Rainy Day Supplies

I woke up to thunder, lightening and rain. It’s still going on. I thought I could get so much done, but no.

First let’s talk about the last of the holiday teas. Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride. It smells and tastes like a sugar cookie. And it’s herbal and has no caffeine! I don’t have any sugar cookies to dunk because Tommy and the tiny terrorists ate them all. Every single one.

This has been a wild few days for us. To make it easier on Tommy and his leg I decided we would not go to midnight mass but to the 4:30 Mass. We arrived at 4 p.m. and had to park 3/4 of a mile away and walk. Now the church is only a mile from the house. I had not realized this was also the Children’s Choir service. There were over 300 people in the Atrium! And the inside of the church was packed as well. But very pretty and the priest said we had so many flowers he felt like Clark Griswold.

Christmas at Christ the King

A few interesting things happened at service. The couple in front of us had their 4 teen-aged children who were better behaved than their parents who had obviously hit the egg nog early as they giggled and kissed and transferred gum from their mouths. Even the kids were giving them the side eye. Then their was the lovely fellow right in front of me who had on a Jimmy Buffett shirt and I had to look at Santa and his reindeer with a surf board in the sled and a naked hula girl by his side. So many questions I wanted to ask…. The children sang beautifully and all of the elected officials behaved and were sober.

Christmas Eve continued with Tommy constantly telling me to go to another room. He was doing Santa stuff. We had to run all over OKC just to find out my favorite patisserie was closed so we went to our second favorite because I’d rather pay someone to cook for me than mess up my kitchen.

We did brunch. Not a ham or a turkey or a pot to wash even. We had a lovely Florentine Quiche, a Cranberry Brie En Croute, Toast and Caviar, Hanky Pankies, which are like crack, Cinnabons and a lot of Prosecco, and Mimosas. The kids had their special cookies with cocoa and Tommy and Corbin played with his new drone which almost ended up in the pool. The rest of us quietly watched White Christmas and got sleepy.

The kids know us so well, they gave us a great restaurant gift card to all of our favorite places on Lake Hefner where we run. Tommy gave me a new teapot and a huge mirror. The mirror was a huge hit. Between me and the kids we are some pretty vain creatures. At least know I won’t have to stand on the bed to see my bottom half in a mirror! I gave Tommy the drone and when everyone left we stayed in our jammies and watched Netflix. If you haven’t seen The Derry Girls, it is hilarious.

Just now my neighbor, who had been to Ganache  Patisserie  this morning, brought over this! From the chef when he heard I was heartbroken he was closed. Good people.

And now it’s 3 in the afternoon and it’s still raining and I’m still in my pajamas.

I hope everyone had the exact type of day you wished for. Ours was very low-key and laid back. We had limited everyone to 3 gifts each and with Tommy hobbling around and worried still about our test results it was just what we needed. Time to just snuggle on the sofa and laugh and eat more cheese.

Now let’s get ready for Mardi Gras!

xx P

TIME TO STOCK UP FOR THE WINTER STORM…OR NOT

Afternoon Y’all. I hope you are all safe and warm. The weather man says we have a really big winter storm headed our way this weekend. I’m always doubtful of that as Mother Nature and I have worked out a deal concerning cold wet stuff and I’m confident she will honor that.

In the continuing saga of the pumpkins….they are all gone! Day before yesterday the two big ones disappeared and that left one small one on one transformer and 2 small ones on the other. And all day I have watched over them to the point Tommy told me he wouldn’t be surprised if he came home and I had knit them some sweaters. And just when I thought oh crap, I’m just going to go get them and bring them inside,  just like that they were gone. In like less than a minute! I swear I ran to the bathroom came back and POOF gone. I feel awful now. Thank goodness they weren’t babies or puppies. I have a feeling my neighbor is doing this to me. He knows I love a good mystery.

I spent the entire day yesterday watching the Bush funeral. I don’t care what anyone’s opinion is about the man. If you weren’t old enough to vote at that time than hush. But we knew this man. One of my friends from high school was in his security detail and was there yesterday. The younger Bush we met when we lived in Dallas. We would go to the Rangers games and there would be George and Laura and the girls with their picnic basket sitting right across the aisle. It was fun and they were all lovely and fun to be with.. I don’t care what your politics are, they were a close and loving family so I sobbed all day.

We have a new coffee shop down the road and everyday they post the most delicious cupcakes and slices of rich, decadent cakes and I am seriously struggling to stay away from there. So we will look at some pretty pictures and pretend we ate them.

Stay safe. Stay warm. Be Kind. Eat the damn cupcake!

xx P