Good All Hallows Eve! Blessed Samhain! I haven’t even had any tea yet and it is almost noon. Why? I’m waiting on that plumber again!
Also the Anxiety Fairy snuck in the door this morning and all I want to do is cry. Part of it is the distance between myself and some people I love. Physical distance and emotional. I want to do something about that but in come all of the ‘What If’s”. What if I’m bothering them? What if they don’t want to hear from me? What if they think I don’t love them?
Do they understand I have a severe anxiety disorder and PTSD from something that happened where they live? Will they understand just hearing an accent from there will put me right back on the floor? Or the shame and guilt I still live with? Of course it’s irrational, the logical brain of mine knows. My body and my heart, not so much.
But I’m going to try. I’m going to extend a hand. New year, new me. Courage is doing it while being scared out of your mind. That’s brave, right?
Tonight I will sweep the old out the door and invite the fey in to dance and eat peanut butter cups. Note to self: You may have a peanut butter problem babe!
Happy Whatever you are doing! Thanks for being here.