Happy Sunday! If you need me I’ll be in the bed! Bring your own snack!

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Sunday morning is pretty gloomy and cold around here. It was and still is a multiple cups of tea day. My poor body keeps waking up at 5 a.m. every day since this time change. I’m not happy about that.

Yesterday and last night was dedicated to watching football and hoping Alabama would crash and burn. Mississippi State gave it a good try, but no. OU came through but Georgia lost and we wept. They had a perfect record.

Before I forget, if you don’t already know Starbucks is running a special through Monday on their Holiday flavors only. Buy one get one free! The flavors are Peppermint Mocha, Caramel Brulee’ Latte, and Chestnut Praline Latte’. No coupon required. It is from 2 to 5 p.m.  Depending on where you live you may have different choices. I had the Caramel Brulee’ yesterday. Today I’m thinking the Chestnut Praline.

Luckily I get to hang out in bed all day. With a good book, Sophie Kinsella’s new one “Surprise Me!”, along with lots of pots of tea. Yesterday there would have been miniature lemon and red velvet bundt cakes. But like I said, that was yesterday.

Have a restful and peaceful Sunday no matter where you are. And if you are in the OKC area today Alexander McCall Smith is at Full Circle Books so go meet him and check out his series The #1 Ladies Detective Series.

xx Patricia

 

It was a dark and gloomy day….

Good Morning! I am not at all sure what is going on outside. It’s cold. But it’s also drizzling and gray. Gloomy, which makes for perfect tea and reading day.

I seriously needed this day of rain and gloom. I may have overextended myself on some books and I do not need the distraction of the sun or children playing outside. I need to read this stuff. I’m going to be in bed with a book and this lovely Earl Grey London Fog Latte’ that I made myself! My mouth is very happy.

Yesterday I was reading. In the tub, but you should always just assume that’s where I am. And no, the door bell didn’t ring but the phone did. It was the nurse scheduling my pre-op tests and measurements. 3 weeks. And I had to get out of the tub and tip toe into the kitchen where the big calendar lives to check dates. However I had not opened any  drapes or blinds so no one got their boxers in a wad.

After the call I got a bit anxious. I guess because it went from “We’ll call you with the date”, to “It’s a go and here’s your date.” I’ll admit I shed a few tears and then reminded myself that my surgeon is top in the country and I trust him 100%. Then I realized I need to refresh my summer tan before I climb on the operating table. I mean if I must have people ogle me while I’m snoring I need to be on top of my game. I can just imagine the conversation. ” Wow, that is one complicated eye surgery!” ” Yes it is Doctor Smart, but she sure does have a great tan and pedicure!”.

So for 3 weeks I can stress and work myself up and do damage to my body with the stress or I can ignore it the way I do most things. Yep, let’s try number 2.

Tonight cousin Emberly, who is also seven, is holding a fundraiser for families in Houston and her mommy Aunt Jessie has made enormous amounts of Grandma Laura’s famous Butter Cookies, which I ordered 6 dozen of. Those yummy nuggets of deliciousness will go into the freezer for over the holidays when company stops by and look! (gasp) homemade cookies!

  My Earl Grey London Fog Latte’ and my mutant eyeball gum. Courtesy of Harney & Sons Victorian London Fog.

xx Patricia    Have a peaceful Friday and enjoy some tea and cookies!

Tea With The Anxiety Fairy

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Well when I woke up this morning and up until this very minute I thought it was Friday. I”m also a time zone behind so who knows what’s next?

Let’s start with a cup of tea. This morning I’m going to my stand by English Breakfast Tea by Tazo. I’ve tried others. But this one does the job for me.

So as you know I am waiting impatiently for the nurse to call and schedule another eye surgery. I made the mistake of looking into cataract surgery when you have someone else’s cornea still being held in place with 11 sutures. That explained why we can’t do laser. And then the Anxiety Fairy strode right in and kicked my ass for about 4 straight hours. I really didn’t want to send her away with the magic pill. So I tried something else. Laughter.

OU Boy: ” Listen to this thing I taped on my phone last night.

Me: Ok

Him: Plays audio of snoring.

Me: That’s not snoring, it’s growling. I growl in my sleep.

Him: Uh,  no, that is straight up snoring.

Me: I don’t appreciate you smearing my good name. Why are you even here?

I’m pretty sure he did it to get back at me for an honest mistake I made Monday. I’m in the tub reading and the doorbell rings. I shouted hang on and wrapped myself in a towel, thinking Well it’s just OU Boy and it was not. It was the handyman come to fix my closet doors. I unlocked the door and yelled, “Wait for a 10 count and then come on in, I was in the tub”. He did and I quickly put a robe on over the towel. He fixed the closet and left.

When I told OU Boy he was nowhere near amused. More like furious. “Who does that?” Well apparently I do so other people must do it too. So last night when he left his parting words were ” I don’t give a damn who rings this doorbell. Do. Not. Answer. The. Door.

Aye, Aye oh Captain. I would say sorry but I have been  waiting on this guy to repair my closet door for a long time and I wasn’t going to miss getting it done.

I was making a butternut and white bean soup last night and asked him to cut the squash open for me. He did and then volunteered to gut them. He will never make that mistake  again. We were gagging over the sink and laughing so hard. OU Boy said “OH F***, I’m imagining Cynthia in the compost heap with this crap. More balls than we have!”.

By the way the soup was delish! And then I realized, I had no idea where little Miss Anxiety Fairy had gone to. But the important thing is she wasn’t at my house any longer! We had laughed her right out of the house.

I was grateful. And Gratitude brings miracles you can’t imagine.

xx Patricia  Have a great Thursday!  Enjoy some tea! Never answer the door in a towel or Saran Wrap. Bad. Yugely. Bigly.

Making A Choice…and Tea!

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Good Thursday Morning to Y’all. I’m feeling Zen today. So I’m going with the Tazo Zen tea today. With the temperatures dropping it may get moved to the back shelf until warmer weather so the winter teas have some room.

This has been a week hasn’t it? Although I have to say that the leak under the slab was relatively painless. I discovered it on Monday when my closet floor felt really hot. OU Boy pulled out his digital infrared thermometer and it was 105.5.  We knew we had a hot water line break. The plumber was here early the next morning. And by early I mean he was here at 9 a.m. on the dot.  People, I am not company ready at that time of day. This meant a change in my schedule and my anxiety was looking for a way out.

OU Boy bundled me and all of my things up and dropped me at the library and sent me text updates about the jack hammering and the dust collecting. And people watching at the library is always a fun activity. Everything was repaired and new concrete poured by early afternoon. Now everything in the living room is covered with a fine layer of dust that I’m thinking of just leaving there for a Halloween decoration.

I’ve talked some about CBT and how it has help my anxiety and I had an email asking what that was. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is identifying the event and controlling how you react to said event. I’m not a professional here. I’m a visual learner. I learn best by reading or seeing something rather than you telling me orally about it. I have worksheets, or I did for a while. Now it’s just second nature. The worksheets are divided into 3 parts A- The Activating Event (Something happened) B-Belief/Stuck Point (I tell myself something) C- Consequence (I feel something). Then I ask myself, “Are my thoughts above in “B” realistic? In my mind I’m playing out the scenario and any way it can negatively affect me. It’s a way to help me control situations. And for me it works.

I was all set to be really Zen today and OU Boy just shot me a text that the entire Thunder team and families are up at the Club celebrating the Thunders tenth anniversary. Even Melo and Lala! I am not feeling very zen towards him at the moment. I knew he cut out of here awful early this morning. Seriously, how could you forget to tell me that???

Have a calm and peaceful day. Make a choice to be kind. Make someone’s day a little bit better today. A smile, a kind word, a cup of tea, or you can just try not to start shit! Whatever level you are at!

xx Patricia

It’s Time To Talk #worldmentalhealthday

Today is World Mental Health Day.

When you stop making life about taking care of everyone else and take care of you first.

We don’t talk enough about Mental Illness in this country. There is a stigma attached to those words that people don’t want to stick on themselves. All my life I was told I was just “high-strung”, which may be a southern thing. But I had my first major panic attack when I was a child and a hurricane had deposited a tree down the center of the twin beds in our room. All I remember is being in the closet holding a Barbie and rocking back and forth. A Valium from my mother took care of that.

I got so good at pretending I wasn’t anxious that not many people noticed. I went to school and on to college. Worked in finance for years as the person in charge. It was better for me to be in charge because I had fewer people to deal with.

Of course I didn’t realize that until I had a traumatic experience and the anxiety and stress literally made me sick. After that I quit working in the public eye and concentrated on my therapy and learning to cope with the fact that I don’t like being around people.

It seems appropriate that today of all days I am working from the library. Full of questionable people! Why would I do such a thing to myself? Because I have a hot water line that broke in my bathroom and there are men jack hammering my floor up and that was worse than pretending to be invisible at the library.

The fact that my schedule has been interrupted is just one more thing for me to be thrown by.  I recently graduated from therapy. My anxiety is controlled by CBT and a Xanax at bedtime. If we met you would never know I suffer with this. I’m really good at pretending everything is fine. I’m lucky I have someone in my life who recognizes situations that are bound to trigger a wringing of hands or biting of my lip and gets me out of there as soon as possible.

Let’s try to educate the people we care about and be honest with them. I am the worst at bowing out of things at the last-minute. I usually use the I’m busy excuse, but lately I’ve been telling people that I’m just not comfortable with a bunch of people and hope they understand.

Through this blog I’ve discovered I’m not alone. I’m not weird. I’m not crazy. Sharing stories and the ups and downs of our lives has been the best thing in the world for me. So thanks to all of you for being there!

xx Patricia

My Own Stress Free Zone and A Cup of Matcha!

With my cup of Matcha this morning I’m feeling green. Not with envy. Although I wouldn’t say no to that green tea cup!

I really enjoy Matcha and all of its benefits. I do not however enjoy making things to eat with it. Although most of my diet consists of green foods, I just can’t do a green donut or brownie or beer. It looks like algae.

This morning started out in a very stressful zone! I couldn’t find my bank card and was not happy to find out someone had borrowed it and not returned it. The evil side of my brain was all set to blow this into a hurricane sized issue as I had plans to go to the kid’s soccer games. Then I walked outside and it would seem that it rained last night and it was 60 degrees. My allergies said “Get thyself back into the house woman!”.

Poor Anxiety…she just can’t win this week. She quickly got shoved back into her box and after that first cup of tea I can’t even hear her whining anymore. It’s Saturday, the sun is shining ( which means nothing to me when it is 60 degrees!) and football comes on.

Question!  How do you feel about school fundraisers? I have been asked to buy everything from nuts to sausage lately and even from daycares! Here is how I feel about that. I’m not buying anything. I wrote a check to Charli Ava’s school and that is that. I mean how much of that money for the $50 wreath is going to the school? And I don’t believe in kids going door to door selling stuff. And if you are one of those parents who expect all of your co-workers to buy magazines or cookie dough they don’t want please leave me out of it. If my child’s school is raising money for something, just tell us. We will give you some money directly for that instead of my child bugging the crap out of people so she can win a key chain worth a dime. If I wanted my kids selling stuff, I’d get them a job.

xx Patricia   Enjoy your Saturday! May it be calm and peaceful!

 

No, Ms. Anxiety, you may not spend the night!

The sun is shining brightly this morning into my office. Even though it feels dark outside. Waking up to another mass shooting. This time in Las Vegas at a Country Music concert with the shooter being an old white man from a retirement village.

It’s almost information overload. All over the planet our people are suffering and crying out for help, for change. Can we all remember that we are human? Like birds…there are many colors and sizes, but they are all birds. The same is true for us. We have to at the very least respect each other and keep our nose out of other people’s business, because that never ends well. You can start handing out advice to other countries and people only if your own house is in order. And even then only if they ask.

People have no idea anymore what is true or not true on the news. Unless you are there yourself you don’t know for sure what is going on and why. And shame on you journalists who don’t go do your own research and dig for the truth. Shame on you! And shame on you Donald Trump! You are quite possibly the worst bully I have ever met. Your divisive language and name calling is low and shameful for us all. I think you need a real Come To Jesus meeting with my Momma.

So today Anxiety may come out to play and I may shed some tears and feel hopeless and helpless, but tomorrow I will be back. With my own research and my own opinions. Locked and Loaded. So Ms. Anxiety don’t get too comfy here. Your room has been rented out.

xx Patricia

Tea: A Gateway Drug…

It’s Friday! You made it through another week! Raise a cup for that! I have to say this Harney & Sons Hot Cinnamon Spice Tea is a real winner for me! The smell alone had me smiling. It will definitely be a Fall/Winter staple at my house!

The other day when I was searching through all the tea sites I found this recipe for using Celestial Seasonings Cinnamon Apple Spice Tea with Fireball for a hot toddy. Heck yeah! That idea is getting  used this football season.

Yesterday to keep my mind occupied I started Fall cleaning. I took the refrigerator apart and cleaned it and labelled all of the bins. Same with the stove only I didn’t label it since we aren’t really that close. Scrubbed every cupboard in the house. Got the slip covers on the sofas, got all clean pillows and bedding, and cleaned all the vents. And you won’t believe this but I already have dinner done for tonight! Yep, I put it in the crock pot last night and this morning Voila! dinner!

Tonight we are going to see the Kingsmen sequel. I loved the first one so much I’ve seen it like 5 times. And I never watch anything more than once. If you have Netflix, you should really watch The Five by Harlan Coben. It was on Sky TV in the UK last year and I think on Canal in France. I watched it more than once. It is just as wonderful as his books. So if you get a chance watch it!

Have a great Friday! Make someone elses day great too. Smile! Be Kind! Do what you can to help just one person today.

xx Patricia  bluebird

 

New Autumn Teas and Some Old Favorites! It’s Fall Y’all!

According to ‘people’ it’s Fall. Or Autumn, whichever you prefer. It’s still hot as hades here and humid too, but we are not going to complain at all when we know our fellow human beings are having a pretty rough time of it this month.

It can be overwhelming. Which is always where tea comes in. A few precious moments to sit and think healing thoughts for our neighbors and our planet. A time out from the constant barrage of bad news. You will drive yourself crazy if you don’t.

My favorites are the Harney & Sons Hot Cinnamon and the Tazo Baked Cinnamon Apples. Although I won’t say no to any of them!

For those of you keeping track, I had a stitch taken out of my eye yesterday. Only 13 left to go. Yesterday was one of those at the eye surgeons office for hours days. We marked time by how many HGTV shows came on. And people watched. It’s one of my favorite things to do. I did notice that there are quite a lot of people who wear their pajamas and house slippers in public. I just can’t figure this phenomenon out. Every time I leave the house I hear my Momma’s voice in my head asking if my undergarments match. But these folks aren’t even getting dressed! I’m pretty sure this is where the break down in our society is coming from. People not even caring if they have on clothes, must less making sure they match! I tried to ask one why, but OU Boy was there reminding me to Be Nice. Which is apparently something he believes he has to do to save Oklahoma from me pointing out the obvious

Anyway, the taking out of the stitch makes OU Boy queasy so he leaves the room. To make up for that he took me to the new Super Grocery Store that just popped up across the street from Wal-mart. They had bulk bins for everything! Organic, GF, Dairy Free and it was all so nice and clean! They even had an in-house Sushi Chef and let me tell you, I may not be into the gas station sushi, but this stuff was amazing! I ate two samples and then bought some for dinner. I also bought a few of every root vegetable they had, as it is that season. Then I got to the check out and the lady had to ask me what each and every item was. Seriously? You have never seen a turnip or a parsnip or a beet for craps sake?

It was about that time that OU Boy pointed out we may need to just hush and go on home and take a Xanax. So we did. Then we snuggled up on the sofa and watched television while I moaned and whined about how bad my eye hurt. He was happy to put me to bed. He was gone when I got up and it is his day off, so I’m not sure if he’s just had enough or I forgot he had somewhere to be.

Have a good Wednesday and Be Nice! Be Thankful!

xx Patricia

 

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF THIS PIRATE

Good Monday Morning to you all! Today’s tea is brought to you by Ahmad Tea. Lemon Ginger to be exact because someone and I’m not mentioning names….made brownies at bedtime last night and how could I not eat one! So now I am suffering from Sugar Shock.

Sugar and I hate each other. It does horrible things to my body. I’m pretty sure the brownie making stunt ( which he said was fudge) was in retaliation for my forcing him to eat pasta with sautéed sausage and peppers. Or maybe because I send him pictures of what I’m eating during the day.

This is my day. Yesterday I had caviar and tiny toasts for breakfast because I was reading a Russian book. And because I only had 3 tiny toasts left and it seemed a reasonable breakfast.  At lunch, I roasted brussel sprouts, fresh green beans and celery with a bit of sea salt and herbes de provance.

I also opened the blinds to find a Stormtrooper peeking in my window. I guess if you must have a peeper, a stormtrooper isn’t a bad one to have. Now he is sitting in the tea cupboard after having a bath, since lord only knows where he actually came from.

OU Boy brought home flowers, which to be honest he does pretty much every Sunday. He’s thoughtful like that. Plus he thought we were having Spaghetti. Like “normal” people eat. ( His words).

The gorgeous tiny boxes of macarons were the Sweet Ending to Mollie and Taylors wedding reception. A wedding which was planned for 500. On the day OU played Ohio. Mollie and Taylor are not sports fans. Less than 275 people showed up. Everyone else was in Ohio or screaming Boomer Sooner in the yard.

Welcome to a day in my life.  I know we’ll all be writing about and thinking about 9/11. I’m not going to do that. I will offer a prayer. I will be thankful that my son and daughter came home intact from a war that this day started. I will remember my cousin who didn’t come home intact. And all of the other sons and daughters who lost their lives and continue to lose their lives.

Be Nice. Be Compassionate. Be Grateful.

xx Patricia