Happy Monday~ GREAT NEWS!!

Happy Monday~ It has been a long weekend here. Cold too. I hope you are all safe and warm.

Friday’s surgery was an all day affair. We finally got back to the OR and of course I asked Dr. White if I could see the tumor. He was very quick to offer to take a picture. Almost gleeful. Aunt Gayle and I posted up it the waiting area right out side the OR with about 50 other people who had not read the memo on NO CHILDREN BEYOND THIS POINT. So I pointed it out to them. For hours I drank tea, listened shamelessly to other people’s conversations and silently judged the ones who had NOT turned their phones off. Well maybe not so silently, but I was stressed.

A few hours in I received a call from Diane in the OR to meet the good doctor in the hall real quick. We were like giddy kids doing something behind our parents back! He had the picture and then took my phone and took one next to a ruler so you all could share in the gory thing he and I decided to call “Da Tumor” in our best Terminator voices.

So for the squeamish or faint of heart, look away!

I sent it to my sister and said, “We had a baby! It’s a boy/girl/mutant!” Actually our Oncologist said he is certain it is not cancerous, although we are waiting on final confirmation from the pathologist. Just a bunch of fat. Which Gayle and I wondered if it had just banded together and formed this long 2 pound ovoid and how could we get our fat to work that out???

The weekend was spent doling out meds. Oxycodone and Tommy don’t really go well together. Lots of throwing up and passing out. Today he is going down to just Motrin and believe it or not he’s going back to work on Wednesday. He has slept a lot and I have read a lot. Plus my mother went home from the hospital on Saturday.

I want to take a minute to say Thank You to all of you who were praying and sending us good thoughts! It means the world to us. After surgery when he could sit up we just clung to each other and prayed and gave thanks and cried and released a ton of weight off of our shoulders.

The up side of this is how seriously he is taking his recovery and drinking SuperFood Smoothies with me and hardly drinking any iced sweet tea. But a lot of herbal tea.

I’m headed to the market as I don’t think he will live on spinach much longer!

Happy Monday and Here is a big hug and kisses for you all!

xx P

A WINTER WALTZ

Wednesday Love to you all! While we still have no snow, I think I would rather have that than the constant drizzle of freezing rain. Mother Nature in Oklahoma is much like a menopausal woman. Freezing one minute and hot as hell the next. It’s just too much to keep up with.

I love this little winter poem. I love the idea of winter and snow. I love the reality of sandy beaches and sunshine! Are you still in the deep freeze? With this allergy turned bronchitis mess, I’ve been stuck in the house under covers drinking copious amounts of tea, full of herbal goodness. Last night my fever broke just as Tommy’s blood pressure tanked again and he almost passed out again. I wish I had a video of that scene. Him yelling, ” I’m going to throw up!” And me running for a bucket and making a Heisman worthy jump over the coffee table to land with my arm outstretched with the bucket which barely made it under his mouth in time.

I was worried about him all night. Slept with my hand on his chest to make sure he was breathing. Finally he grabbed my hand and told me he was okay now. This morning I told him if he was going to keep trying to faint and barf I was going to rearrange the furniture so none of my things would get broken. The poor man was just barfing away while I had my fingers in my ears humming loudly.

Today I feel better. I’m coughing, but it’s a good cough and I don’t feel like crawling into a hole and dying. Which is really good since tomorrow is the big day for pre-op work and then surgery on Friday. Keep those prayers coming!

My nephew’s long time girlfriend was killed in a car accident yesterday in Pass Christian, Mississippi so we are doubling down on the prayer. He is such a sweet boy, who isn’t really a boy anymore, but he will always be the baby.

Have a great day. Be Kind. Drink Tea.

xx P

Hello February! Chapter Two

It is a bit late in the day for me. Not feeling up to snuff today. Sipping on some Sugar Plum Fairy pink tea, welcoming in February. While it says rain and clouds on the weather app, the glaring sun and warm temperatures are saying something else. I know because the sprinkler system doesn’t come on unless it’s over 54 degrees and it came on today.

So everyone we know has this ‘flu’ thingy. And this morning I woke up with a sore throat and a headache along with a sensitive tummy. So I made some Turmeric Tea and filled the bath with Lavender Epsom Salts and proceeded to try to exorcise whatever demon has taken up residence in my body. Said body was highly offended at the intrusion of a germ. I mean for cripe’s sake, all I eat are fruits and vegetables and good for you stuff. But tiny terrorists at the school don’t care. They freely spread their little germs to all who enter the Kindergarten domain.

We are a firm go for next Friday, with pre-op on Thursday. I am a bit peeved that the patient told his aunt she could come and sit with me during the surgery. More than a bit. I was planning on finishing up the new Citizenship Study Guide and now I will have to make small talk. I despise small talk.

I am now off to go moan and groan to my sister. I’m quite sure she will be sympathetic as she is living it up at the beach! Love you MJ!

Have a great week-end and please stay warm all of you in the polar vortex. Read a book or watch a movie, just do some self-care and stay warm!

xx P

KINDNESS, IT’S SO GANGSTER!

It’s Monday! Some Mellow Yellow here today. Warm Turmeric Tea and all is right with the world. Except this wind. It’s one of those days when I need rocks in my pockets or I’ll end up in Missouri. But the fat yellow sun is shining and of course I had a thought about that.

They say that Chicago is the windiest place, but I disagree. I’ve been to Chicago many times and I’ve seen some wicked wind, but here in Oklahoma its unrelenting. I hate it. Your hair is in your face sticking to your lip gloss. Your grocery cart goes flying across the lot. It’s even worse if you live out at the farm. Dust will always be in your house.

But no matter, that big old sun is still shining! High in the sky doing its job not caring what the other elements are doing. I’m so trying to take that attitude. All day and night we hear of the shutdown and the utter chaos in our part of the world and we can not let that affect our job! Our job is to lift the broken, love the unloveable, care for the sick and poor and keep on shining. Being kind isn’t the same as agreeing with someone. You don’t have to agree to be kind. And if you just toss that stuff all over then at the end of the day you can be proud of yourself and not have to go take a shower to wash off the ugly.

We went to the market this morning. Tommy was not happy but he took a nap and is okay now. Nothing but good and healthy food in the house. I think he’s planning a secret mission to The Garage ( our fave burger joint) as soon as I head for the office! But so far he’s done well. He’s drinking Turmeric Tea and had a cup of English Breakfast this morning. He even ate the salmon patties I made last night. He has never eaten salmon!!

Have yourself a good day and evening. And remember sometimes being kind just means keeping our mouths shut.

xx P

The Pity Train Has Left The Station

Happy Sunday! Enjoying a nice cup of Orange Spice tea today. No famous seller, just a blend anyone can make. The sun is shining, but it’s still quite chilly out there. I still don’t know where that major snow storm is. I’m beginning to think that weather guy may also be a negative thinker.

Are you? I am not. But I live with one and it’s the worst thing in the world. I despise negativity. And I’m way past the days of struggling to drag people into Happy Town. You know the way, just go. Today I have been on the offensive to help get rid of that and clarify my position. Me along with my trusted Sharpie have been going around writing on things. Like that gallon sweet tea pitcher, which now says,” NO! DO YOU WANT TO DIE? GYST!” Yep, it’s time to take drastic action. Anything processed or has sugar or flour is now in the garbage. Oh, GYST is just Get.Your.Shit.Together. It’s my mantra for the year.

So for all of you family members who love to wallow in your illnesses and yet do nothing constructive about them….STFU. Stop trying infect the rest of us with your moaning and groaning while you are still shoving poison in your mouth or smoking it or whatever you are doing and know 100 percent you should not.

Lol #funnymovingonquotes

Start channelling your inner Orange. The color of happiness and liberation from pitifulness (probably not a word, yet appropriate). Who can’t muster up a smile when you smell a freshly peeled orange? It’s a mindset. A decision you make every morning. Today is going to be a good day. And then you make it one. We all have problems. It’s how you deal with them that sets us apart. So many of us on here struggle with anxiety, depression and stress. But we deal with it. We WANT to be well and we really don’t want to be dragged into someone else’s negativity and whining. You hold the key to your own health and well-being. YOU. If you don’t like where you are with your health, your weight, or your attitude, well, guess what? YOU are the only one who can change it.T

That is all. Be Kind and Take Care of YOU!

xx P

The Key To Keeping Your Balance Is Knowing When You’ve Lost It

What a dismal Wednesday morning! Although the weather report says we will hit 57 today, it looks awfully dark out. Morning tea is the Turmeric Soothe again. Our tummies are still rumbly here. And I’m sure my attempt at cooking chicken (eww) didn’t help. Tommy said it tasted funny and thus began the great dash for the bathroom.

Last night I dreamed I was being held hostage by Somali pirates. As head of the Pirate Nation, I was confused, but happy to be on a beach. And then I woke up with the thought “What exactly do I NEED to do today?” What do I do just because it’s expected or just because it’s become a habit or routine? I am a creature of habit. I love lists and I get upset when my schedule is disrupted. Yes, I am a control freak. But I am trying not to be.

We can’t control everything. It’s not possible. So how do I find balance between the things I can control and the things I can’t? No clue! How do you do it? Well this morning I wrote a list. Of course. On one side were the things I have total control over and on the other side the things I have no control over. The second list was longer. I hung the first one on the refrigerator and I burned the other in the sink (okay it was a small cauldron).

Did I instantly feel better? Yes and No. With so much uncertainty in our lives, both personal and worldwide, it is hard not to just stick our head in the sand and wait it all out. It’s hard to wake up everyday and not look at the world through rose-colored glasses. Reality is hard!

Balance. That’s what I’m shooting for. Not work vs. home balance. Life balance. I’m going to ponder that today. With a good book in one hand and a cup of Earl Grey in the other. That’s a good start, right?

Enjoy your day!

xx P

A NEW TEA AND A BETTER DOCTOR!

My mantra for the week. Before I forget I have found a new tea! It’s by Twinings and it is called Soothe and soothe it does! Obviously my Crohn’s is going to flare up with stress and not eating. I use turmeric quite a bit for its healing properties and somehow Twinings has gotten the blend just right. It’s turmeric, star anise, orange peel, lemon grass and licorice root.

So good

Being honest, it tastes like a good spice tea with a bit of dirt thrown in. Come on, it’s just like Matcha, that texture it leaves behind is like fine dirt. But it helps so I’ll keep drinking it.

Tommy has been overwhelmed by the amount of good wishes and support from all of y’all and his co-workers. Today’s update is this. We see our doctor tomorrow morning. In the meantime he had a voicemail from a surgeon we don’t know letting him know to call back to schedule the surgery. I’m sorry, what?? We haven’t even met the surgeon yet. He hasn’t looked at him yet. He could be any scalpel wielding serial killer in the Operating Room. So, no. Our heart guy was pissed off on our behalf and so we’re changing doctors. This one seemed a little to eager to cut open my husband without even meeting him.

So we both felt  a tremendous relief with Dr.H in the driver’s seat. You really have to trust your doctor, and we trust Dr. H. and whoever he trusts. And first thing in the morning we will find out what is going on.

Oklahoma City and it’s suburbs are odd. Weather wise. It was sleeting all over last night except at my house. Finally the police put out a text saying they would not be responding to non-injury accidents after having responded to 47 in 3 hours. There were 15 car pile ups, 7 car pile ups, trucks on fire. I-40 was backed up to the border. And all of a sudden I get a text from the kids schools that they are closing today. Are you kidding me?? You promised they would go back today! This morning I was watching the weatherman and he was just in awe of the 1/2 inch of snow blowing over the OU campus, which was closed due to weather. Here we didn’t get any snow, it’s just cold. I went to North Dakota State and I remember walking through 6 feet of snow to get to class and when the snow was past my front door my employer ( the hospital) sent a EMT on a snowmobile to pick me up from my bedroom window. Those are the people who will survive the zombie apocalypse.

So today I’ll not worry about the unknown or the great “snow” storm. Worrying just adds to your anxiety and lord knows the house is full of those damn anxiety fairies. Corbin even asked if I wanted him to bring some fairies from his house! Gotta love him.

I’ll try to be back tomorrow and update this. Stay Warm!!

xxP

 

A LATE HOLIDAY TEA ENTRY AND A FINAL F*** YOU FROM 2018

I realized this morning that I forgot to post this review of the last of my holiday teas. It’s Celestial Seasonings Cranberry Vanilla Wonderland. Caffeine Free! I was so excited by this one. I love cranberries! The aroma was a perfect combination of cranberry and vanilla. I couldn’t wait to taste it.

Now for the not so good news. It has Stevia in it. I kept tasting a bitter taste that just reminded me of chemicals, so I looked and sure enough it had this sweetener in it. With Crohn’s I am not able to eat any type of sweetener except honey. So it was a really great idea, but why put the sweetener in? Oh well.

So today is a tale I would rather not be telling but I need feedback, I need support and I thank my beautiful friend Cynthia for keeping me sane this past few days! She is the most supportive person I have ever met. She even offered to get in her truck and come up to us. I love her for that.

On December 30,  the year decided to give us one more F*** You!  We have been waiting on the results of tests Tommy (the hubby) had done for the tumors on his leg. We figured the one by his hip was just a fatty tumor, but even with our copy of the DVD of the MRI, we couldn’t tell what the other two were. So ‘Ting’ went his phone and it was a notice that results had been dropped in his patient portal. Hello, Dr. E has sent his findings to your surgeon Dr. C. Findings? Malignant neoplasm of connective and soft tissue of left leg and hip. Boom!  And just like that our world started spinning. The Anxiety Fairy brought a few friends even. And of course every doctor was out-of-town until the 3rd. Needless to say the past few days have been horrid. Lots of sobbing, anger and railing at the world about the unfairness of the situation.

The man isn’t even 40 for crying out loud and he has already had a double by-pass and 4 stents and numerous other heart issues. The last one they told me they couldn’t do any more. Things are all scribbly in there and they just can’t. Now he has never had high cholesterol, it’s all genetic. And now this. He is the kindest man you will ever meet and I am still so mad I want to hit someone until they hurt as bad as I do. ( Steel Magnolias.)

This morning he called his Cardiologist, Dr. H. Now that man is on the ball. We have an appointment on Friday. By then he will have all the scan and MRI results and one of his colleagues is an Oncologist right next door and he will walk us straight there if necessary. So our stress went down to a 20.

It’s always nice to begin a new year with a new project. Mine being a lot of research and also trying to figure out how we got mixed up so badly that now everytime I google anything it pops up on his phone! This can not happen. No one should see my browser history. Ever.  So that’s our news. I hope yours is better. Thanks for listening to my garbled mess of a post. And thanks for being a friend.

xx Patricia

We’re All Mad Here!

Blue Monday. Since I was having Harney and Sons Yellow and Blue Tea this morning. It’s a lovely blend of Chamomile and Lavender with Cornflowers. It’s caffeine free and very calming. And since I am seeing my therapist in a couple of hours I needed calm.

Not so much from the visit, it’s the people in the waiting room. They seem to want to talk before they go in. A warm up I guess of what they are paying someone to hear them talk about.

The weather is still weird. Shorts one day and all the clothes you own the next. But none of the dreaded snow they keep predicting. We just had the one day of snow. If you blinked you missed it.

The stress of waiting for Tommy’s surgery is making me a bit snippy. I was outside yesterday when a neighbor commented that she loved the Menorah in my window. And then she said, ‘ I didn’t know you were Jewish.’ To which I said,” Well deep down and going all the way back, aren’t we all really?” I’m fairly sure she won’t talk to me again. Sarcasm is running rampant. And it isn’t even a menorah. It’s a candelabra set a friend gave us and it is beautiful and blue and was made by the company that originally made toilets. During the big war they didn’t have as much demand for those so until the war was over they made beautiful oval commode bowls and these double candle holders.

So I have to go cook now. Tommy can barely walk and this is seriously impacting my food delivery system. And my grocery shopping. I did cook a turkey Friday. I didn’t actually touch it or anything. I went and found my neighbor and he pulled out the icky bits and all I had to do was put in the oven. I wasn’t sure about the ‘neck’. I almost threw up when that came out. But Tommy was impressed and ate it and isn’t dead, so now I’m a gourmet cook.

Monday Love! xx P

Today’s Mood….Tired With a Touch of Anxiety

bluemood

So far Monday has been a multiple cups of strong tea day. It was 20 degrees outside and cold!

This has been a week-end. And because it has been a pretty bad one which included a trip to the ER, a lot of tears and hopefully soon some answers.

I am trying to keep that darn anxiety fairy quiet and calmly digest what our next move should be so OU Boy and I posted up on the sofas and watched Netflix. He was doped up on pain meds and I was randomly bursting into tears so watching Grace and Frankie was good. We cried, we laughed and went to bed very early as we had not slept the night before.

So, for a bit I may not be here as much. My first job is this man I love and I’m determined to fix him. All good wishes and prayers are welcome and appreciated.

xx P