What The Heck is Orange Pekoe?

It’s already afternoon. Where did the time go? We’re inspired by the color orange today!

I have a funny tea related story to tell. My mother-in-law (May she rest in peace) saw me making tea one day. Now normally it’s already done. I’m talking about the iced and sweet variety we keep in the fridge. We’re southern. We go through a gallon a day and by we I mean OU Boy. Anyhow, she sees the teabags steeping and says, ” What the hell is orange pekoe?” Um, it’s the normal black tea everyone uses to make iced tea in America. Her:” I’ve never heard of it and I’m not drinking that shit.” Me: (inside head) Like I give a shit.

She passed away in September of 2014 after a short battle with Stage 4 lung cancer and OU Boy and I both lived with her and took care of her to the last day and she still wasn’t drinking that shit. Every morning she’d head to Sonic for a huge glass of the same stuff I made. Now we laugh about it all the time, with love, since she is currently residing in the closet of my office.

Yesterday we finally nailed down a date we could all live with for my eye surgery. June 25th. Armed with a small file folder full of prescriptions and alternate prescriptions we headed to the pharmacy. One tiny bottle of Combigan was $365.00. However, the two ingredients it is made from are only $28 total! My doctor is a genius at finding bargains. Now they have to order the others that will have to be done after surgery. I am so seriously cheap! I hate spending money on meds or food. I like my money where I can see it. In my closet.

I still haven’t watched the video but I did send my daughter in law my entire file along with the video so she can pick out which parts she thinks I should know. She’s in the business so I trust her.

And since the surgery is at the end of the month OU Boy says we can still go on vacation the second week! It all works out as it should somehow.

Have a great Thursday!

xx Patricia

Thank You For Giving Me Life and Letting Me Keep It!

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I haven’t had a good Earl Grey London Fog Latte’ in forever so this morning I made an entire pot and drank it all by myself! It was beyond yummy.

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. A day to honor your Momma for giving you life and not killing you during your teenage years. She tried, but I’m squirmy and good at hiding.

This is one holiday I am always conflicted about. If you suffered abuse as a child, I think that’s pretty normal. I sat at the computer for a long time yesterday trying to send flowers. In the end, I couldn’t do it. It was too much of a reminder that we were required to get her flowers when she had run out of steam and people to beat or verbally abuse. My dad made us get flowers and apologize. Can you believe that? Apologize for getting abused? So it brings up a lot of dark feelings.

So I will say Happy Mother’s Day and move on. Have I forgiven her? No. I don’t know that I can. I have forgiven myself for not being a part of her life anymore. She may be 80 but her behavior hasn’t changed. She is still manipulative and has a tongue that could kill you. To this day she pits all of us against each other. Much like prisoners, she doesn’t want us getting together and comparing notes or we just may overthrow the kingdom.

I will love her for giving me life and that is all.

I wish all the rest of you a wonderful Mother’s Day! And even though she is no longer alive, Happy Mother’s Day Gracie! You raised me right and I’ll never forget you.

xx Patricia    headed out on an adventure tomorrow….look out Texas!

 

Everything’s Gonna Be All Right!

Good Thursday morning! Sipping on a lovely Assam Tea from Taylor’s of Harrogate. It has the loveliest aroma and a nice malty taste. Getting ready to head back to Dean McGee and let them take my eye pressure again. I’m pretty sure it’s better.

When I saw my shrink on Tuesday I told him I needed to go back on my meds. I felt like it was the best thing for my sanity and my eye. Turns out there is something to that. I don’t know what, but when I took a pill late yesterday and my eye felt normal. And so did I!

Yesterday we picked up the sofa we had ordered. The love seat and the 2 chairs and ottoman should be ready in a few weeks. I love a structured sofa. And I love the look of natural linen. The pillows that come with the sofa have writing on them and so do the 2 chairs. But look what they say. Tea! They have all kinds and places of tea. You could also get them in French script. Or anything you choose really. I was so in love with it once we cut it loose from the yards of plastic and cardboard. What do you think?

I haven’t decided on curtains yet. I don’t want to mess up the perfect walls.

I am off to the eye institute. And then to the market. I hope you have a wonderful day.

xx Patricia

 

DONUTS, CRAWFISH, and XANAX

It’s the weekend! And it’s going to be beautiful. Almost no wind, bright sunshine and fun times ahead.

I was drinking tea at 4 a.m. when I should have been sleeping. Then OU Boy woke up and went to get birthday donuts. Of which we ate one bite each before declaring them too sweet.

So it’s been another year and what have I learned?

I’ve learned that life can always surprise you. Just when you think you know what is happening….boom….you don’t. I have no control over anyone or anything. Just go with the flow. Yes, that is what I’ve learned. Go with the flow. But make sure it’s your flow and not someone else’s. Be kind. You will never regret it. Be polite. Everyone will remember it. Be content. Where you are.

 

Before I go enjoy my day I did want to say thanks for sticking with me and getting me over this rough week of detoxing from the Xanax. I am ready for life, unmedicated. I sure hope it’s ready for me.

Brittany Fuson Paper | Shop | Greeting Cards to me! And all of you other lucky May Babies!  xx Patricia

It’s Friday! Let the Sun Shine!

Good Morning! It’s Friday and I’m starting off with a cup of Harney and Sons Green Blueberry Tea, which is a delight for the nose and the mouth!

I got some sleep last night, but I’m not going to pretend this is easy because it isn’t. I’m drinking a lot of tea and spending a lot of time reading. We keep the monthly Trader Joe’s booklet in the bathroom. It makes for fun reading. Anyway we saw this ad for Persian Cucumbers, which I didn’t even know were a thing, and the way they describe it..well, here.

Some people are surprisingly cool on cucumbers. We consider this one of life’s mysteries. Perhaps these people have never tried one of our Persian versions of the fruit. Yes it is a fruit. If someone less than impressed with curcubitae were to sample our smooth, thin-skinned cukes…experiencing their aromatic sweetness, and their tender, yet crisp bite…we believe they would change their cucumber-tune in a flash. I mean are we still talking about food here? Someone loves their cukes! 

You have to take your fun where you can find it some days. Books, tea and laughter will get you through a lot. I’m reading a good tale by Jo Nesbo.  Norwegian Detective in Australia. Different.

Back to the books! Have a good Friday and Be Good To Yourself!

xx Patricia

 

Some Pink Flamingo Love

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I am late getting on here today. It is storm season in Oklahoma and our weather guys live for this time. We knew yesterday was going to be a severe weather day and it was. David Payne was on television interrupting my Survivor time until after I went to bed and it was still thundering and lightening and blowing rain and wind this morning.

Other than the pool overflowing and water coming up to the sidewalk, we were okay. It seems every year either Moore or Shawnee get slammed with tornadoes and I saw a church sign that said “Dear God, It’s starting to feel personal. Moore, OK.” Poor guys.

I’ve been awake since 5 this morning and have no idea what to do that time of day so I read. And I thought. I’m doing pretty well with no anxiety meds. So far my tummy has been upset a bit which could just be my Crohn’s and I’m having trouble sleeping which could be the big ass street light. I’m not jittery or icky feeling but I am noticing things. Food tastes too everything. Too salty, too sweet, just too much and this is an issue for me because I need to want to eat. A lot of the withdrawal effects are the same effects I have when I forget to eat and I’m just noticing that so I am trying to eat something every few hours. All in all it is much better than I expected.

We shall see how it holds up this weekend. Saturday is my birthday and my son is having a crawfish boil so that should be fun and crazy and loud with dogs, kids and friends and family. We have a lot to cram into May! Next weekend OU Boy’s brother graduates from the big town of Union City High School. They have like one 4 way Stop sign. It is tiny.

Anyone have any sleep remedies? Not Melatonin. Can’t do that. Let me know. I’m off to finish The Perfect Couple by Elin Hilderbrand. It’s good!

Have a Pink Day! xx Patricia

TAYLOR’S ORGANIC CHAMOMILE TEA

This was one of the teas I had samples for. It was a lovely color and it tasted like summer. Every sip reminded me of summer. Herbs and fresh-cut grass. Was it my favorite? No. But it was nice.

And we need nice. I have been awake since about 4 this morning. I was up a few hours later and I don’t think I need to be up and about at the same time as normal people. It was an odd experience seeing OU Boy’s morning habits. I probably shouldn’t do that, at least for a while. I am stopping my anxiety meds. I have been tapering off of them for a month and now I’m down to none and am feeling everything.

Food tastes different. I feel lighter. Yesterday was rough. It still felt like I was holding a live wire in my hand, but I got through it. I didn’t know how it would affect my sleep last night and I’m not sure it did. I keep repeating This is my new normal…over and over. I have definitely done more. Before noon I had done 4 loads of laundry, read a book, reviewed said book and had lots of tea. I had finished all of my email business and I was ready for whatever.

We are bracing for severe weather here. I think they may be just hoping for it in the storm center. That is really not what I need at the moment. A tornado and no Xanax, but I made this decision. I don’t want to be on meds. I want to be in control of my mind and body so I’m rambling on here rather than biting my fingernails. Thank you for listening.

Enjoy your day and thanks for the support!

xx Patricia

 

HAPPY MAY DAY!

May is starting off bright and sunny this morning! Did you find a May basket on  your door this morning? OU Boy was spot on with his lovely wildflower bouquet. Thanks honey!

Yesterday I was so paralyzed with anxiety. I had to go to the Social Security offices to sign a document. I was not prepared. Way too many people and they have a set up like the airport except you don’t take your shoes off.  That was disconcerting as I wasn’t sure if I had any weapons or not. They even take your pepper spray. Sitting there waiting was torture.

When I finally got to my person to sign a document that had gotten lost in the ethernet, in comes a lady with not one but two ankle monitors! She was here to see why she wasn’t getting her benefits. Seriously? Maybe it has something to do with those bright orange ankle things!

All of that had me wringing my hands and ready to go through the roof. As if that wasn’t enough I also found out yesterday that I have to testify in Federal Court. It was like the Anxiety Fairy brought all of her friends at once and I was like a deer in the headlights.

Today I’m trying very hard to enjoy May Day since it is the most important month of all. Being the month of my birth and all. So I’m starting by sharing my anxiety with y’all and then being kind to myself today. Giving myself a pep talk. It will be all right in the end.

Happy May Day! A new month, a clean slate, another chance to reinvent yourself and your world. Have some tea and be kind to yourself.

xx Patricia

SUNSHINE,BEIGNETS AND TEA

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Lazy Sunday mornings…they are just the best! Even though my other half had to go in this morning, he kindly made no noise and let me sleep. As a reward I am making beignets for him for brunch. Since he is at work building me bookshelves, I should do this.

It has been such a hectic week and yesterday I was going through my jewelry box deciding what to give to the kids to play with and what to do away with and while I have more that the average number of engagement rings, I could not find my current one. Which ramped my anxiety level through the roof. It is my favorite and the only one that I care about. I went through everything in the house and nothing.

I sent OU Boy a text telling him I had lost my engagement ring. His manly response was “Where?” If I knew where it wouldn’t be lost now would it! By the time he got home I was in full-blown crying, hysterical mode. He looked and nothing. I knew I had it when I moved. It never leaves my dresser. In a sudden burst of memory I grabbed my Warby Parker box out of the underwear drawer and there it was, snuggling in the box.Safe and sound.  More tears ensued and after a cup of tea I was calmer.

So life was once again good. Now I’m going to run by Barnes and Noble and grab another tin of tea before the sale is over! Then to the pool or park to get some sun.

Have a good Sunday! Enjoy the sun and some tea. I’m having a pitcher of Lavender-Lemon iced and it is so good!

xx Patricia

TWINING’S Earl Grey De-Caf Tea

Hope your snow is melting and you see some signs of Spring! I was pleasantly surprised at lunch Sunday when I ordered Earl Grey Tea. It was from Twinings and it was De-Caf! So I had one to enjoy then and another packet to enjoy later.

It was really a nice tea. Fragrant, light, and even my lunch mate enjoyed it!

Thank you all for the support and kind words. I have worked through all the feelings and although I am not happy with what happened, I now have a better understanding of why. The why wasn’t meant to be malicious or salacious. It was just a bit of bragging that I would have rather not have done on my behalf.  After quite a few tears on both sides, for me, it’s over. I have forgiven and I have made myself clear because not everyone is a mind reader.

And the love that I have for this person exceeds any disappointment I felt. And by holding onto any lingering anger, I’m only hurting myself. And I’m at a point in my life where I don’t want any negative energy around me. Or in me.

Everyone is back home today. Although this morning was a bit of a rough start. The kids are thrilled with the coffee table turned chalkboard. It’s great to practice handwriting and drawing. It was good for everyone to get away for a couple of days. You come back with more patience and an appreciation for your own bathroom!

We are making vegan meatballs and spaghetti for lunch today and after that I think we all need a nap. I’m being very kind to myself today so I may toss in some garlic bread!

xx Patricia   Enjoy your day! Be kind to yourself. And don’t assume people are mind readers.  P.S. They aren’t.