And Just Like That…Plot Twist!!

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First off this morning I must say Happy Birthday to my girl Charli Ava! 7 years old! My fellow lover of all things Pink! As well as tiaras and tutus. And cupcakes.

I did a birthday collage for her over on my other blog Book,Books and More Books

Yesterday was my appointment with my corneal surgeon. Since we are down to every two months now, I was a bit nervous. My appointment was at 3 p.m. and I left around 6 or so. First, they got some new camera equipment which meant better pictures of the inside of my eyeball, so we did a lot of those. A closer look at Dru ( yes, I named the graft) showed that he was hanging onto that eyeball for dear life. So well that Dr. Davis decided we should remove a stitch or two they were so tight. 

Me: Are you sure we should do that? I mean what if it slides off onto the floor?

Him: Well, that has never happened to me before. Ever.

Me: Okay. Just don’t tell me what you are doing, okay?

Him: Okay, but I have to talk out loud so my Fellow can learn and see the procedure.

Me: Dr. Hack? ( Who is not a hack, and has a wicked sense of humor!)

Him: Numbs me up and attached the speculum. Explains everything while I go la la la la la in my head. And he talks about Gideon from Criminal Minds and that he had 2 of these surgeries, did I know that?

Me: No I did not. Did you know that Dr. Hack? ( No, he doesn’t even know what Criminal Minds is because he is just a baby!)

And just like that I had 14 stitches instead of 16. Then we went and took more pictures with the machine that looks like something Dr. Who would use. And Voila! I could see much better. Since my surgery on February 23rd, I am 1/3 of the way through the healing process which is apparently pretty amazing.

So in another two months we may be taking out another one or two. I don’t care for being back on the antibiotic drops and the steroid drops, but I’ll do what ever I need to do to avoid rejection! I am grateful today. And happy. I had one anxious moment when they numbed me up but I got through it. Another win for me and a loss for anxiety!

xx  Patricia

You Suit Me To A Tea…Yes, Yes You Do!

Loving the turquoise and orange today! Trying out some different color schemes for a tea party next week. These are the colors I have to work with and I couldn’t be happier!

Turquoise and Peach remind me of the ocean and coral. They just make me smile!

The menu is set and I’m working on the invitations today. Obviously it is a Bridal Tea. My favorite kind. I also wanted to tell you about an amazing tea I had.

Peach Fresh Brew Iced Tea Image result for peach tea     This Peach Iced Tea with a peach sliced up in it is delicious!  I’ve been doing more cold brewing this month since the heat here is somewhere between WTF and OMG!  This one comes in larger bags too so it’s easy to whip up a pitcher.

The next one I tried with great success was cold brewing Ahmad Tea’s Lemon Ginger. It is a perfect drink in this heat and it’s good for you too! Do you switch up your hot tea to more cold teas in summer? What are some you have tried?

   I usually cold brew mine in a quart mason jar. This one was so good!

Today is Corneal check up day. I’m a bit anxious, but it’s a reasonable amount of anxiety. So today is going to be a great day and any news I get will be positive and reassuring!

xx Patricia

 

After 5 Days in the CICU, We Are Home!

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Finally I am back home! This was one wild ride! Five days sitting in CICU, waiting for answers, having surgeries, procedures. Let’s just say Murphy’s Law applied to the entire five days!

I’m not saying anymore because my attorney told me to shut up basically. On my Reviews site Review Site I had 6 books release today and I luckily there were all just waiting in the Draft Folder. Now I am going to sleep! I promise to catch up with you all and your blogs tonight.

Thank you all for your prayers and good thoughts! Luckily I brought enough tea to last the week! And I had someone pick up my Anxiety meds, so I got through okay, but just barely!

xx Patricia

Hanging On By A Prayer 😷

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OU Boy is still in ICU. Yesterday was a long day and I had grabbed the wrong bottle of meds off the counter so at a time when I needed them most I had  nothing 🙁

By this morning I had been here 48 hours with no meds. I called Uber at 7a.m and went home and took a shower and meds and slept until noon.

Back now at ICU with a fully stocked bag! Hoping the Cardiologist will be able to find a way to make his heart better. Thanks for the prayers and thoughts they help keep us positive.

Happy Saturday 

 

Everyday We’re Hustling..

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Not much hustle today. Waiting for OU Boy to go back to the Cath Lab again. Been a long 24 hours! Anxiety was okay until they asked if we wanted them  to resuscitate if things go badly. WTF?? Well yeah! I mean at least give it a shot for gosh sakes 😕

Left my meds at home so I am just gritting my teeth and slugging Zen Tea. Send happy thoughts!!

xx Patricia

 

 

NOT TODAY, ANXIETY, NOT TODAY!

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Gratitude never goes out of style! Every morning I am grateful there is tea in the kitchen and a kettle to boil the water! Yesterday I was grateful to celebrate our nation’s birthday.

Last night I was grateful I didn’t freak out when the fireworks began shooting into the sky with a loud boom!

This morning we are slurping some Tazo Awake English Breakfast Tea. But yesterday was a quiet and instrospective day for me.

    So I treated myself to some soothing Paris tea from Harney and Sons. This stuff could be perfume it smells so amazing and the Lavender-Lemon Macarons were perfect with the tea.

Since we have no filter what so ever here, I’ll tell you that I discovered a small lump on my back. Anxiety was right there with Oh My God, It’s a Tumor! Yep I can always depend on her to go to the worst case scenario. But it isn’t. It’s just a nasty bite from a bug and I’m taking care of it. But I can still feel her on the edge of my mind. Goading…doing the What if thing she loves to do.

Normally this would bring my week to a complete standstill, but I keep reminding myself that it is what it is. No more, No less. And really, what is it compared to a new cornea?

So today I win. Anxiety loses.   Good for me!

xx Patricia

I Will Always Try Again! Be Brave!

Good sunny Saturday to all of you people of the page! This morning has been a 3 cups of tea day so far. I woke up before normal human beings should ever do! And once I’m awake I can never go back to sleep.

With OU Boy being down with his back someone had to go to the market yesterday. Obviously I can’t drive yet so the deal was that he would drive and I would brave the market alone. A daunting task that my poor therapist has been preparing me for so I went. Actually inside. I’m going slowly down the aisles being careful not to whack myself with a cereal box or freeze to death in the ice cream aisle.

I was doing good. It took a lot for me to go in there alone with limited vision and my aversion to stores in general. All of a sudden….I felt a tap on my shoulder and immediately swung around in a defensive posture with my right hand ready to throat punch someone. And it was OU Boy. The poor lady in the freezer section had her mouth hanging open and her phone out when I explained the situation to her. We all laughed and OU Boy was just glad I didn’t have time to rip out a box cutter or two.

Point being, I was scared but I put one foot in front of the other and pretended I wasn’t. And it worked for me. That is the key. It worked for me. And later when I saw a post on 10 ways ( why is it always 10?) to beat Anxiety, in my head I’m saying “Shove that where the sun don’t shine, buddy!” Because while we all are lumped into the same Anxiety/Depression/PTSD label, our experiences are not one size fits all. What works for you may not work for me. My advice? Do what works for you. Create a world you feel safe in.

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It’s Time For The Weekend!

Good Morning fellow people of the page! I woke up to a man on a ladder outside my window this morning. He was changing out an upstairs window but good grief man it’s Saturday! 9 a.m. or so would have been just fine!

Last night was the final Reign. I’m not even going to lie. I cried like a 3 month old getting his first shots! And The Originals wasn’t much better! I’m still not sure what happened at the end there. So if someone can explain that to me, please do!

OU Boy showed up with dinner last night, so I didn’t have to eat cereal at 10 at night. Thank you kind sir! However the sweets fairy was nowhere to be found. She is such a stingy bitchy thing sometimes.

I’m making a pitcher of Tazo Passion tea this morning for later. If you liked it hot, you’ll love it over ice! It’s a burst of happy for your mouth!

We are under another Heat Threat today so make sure you stay hydrated and please for the love of all that is holy, dress for the body you have, not the one you want. Please. (Lady next door).

xx  Be Kind and Be Calm5ef7878b0fbf3afdf2e4b161bcf6652e

 

He’s Breaking Up With Me…Send Tea!

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Yes, you read that right. Someone is breaking up with me. I’m shocked, stunned and thrilled all at the same time.

Tuesday was Therapy Day. And half way through my 52 minutes, he said, I think next week should be our last visit. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I asked, “Are you breaking up with me?” ” No one has ever broken up with me!” He laughed and told me that yes, as a patient he was breaking up with me. As a person, he wants me to be on the board of the mental health center. To be the voice at the state capitol and with the legislators. To advocate for funding and awareness.

I couldn’t really be mad at him after that pitch. And it is my greatest quality. Getting money out of people. So here goes a new chapter to my story. Changing the way people think of mental illness, of anxiety and depression and the crippling effects.

Am I cured of mine? No. I’ve just found something that works for me. CBT. It’s something my overly logical mind can relate to.  Maybe I can round-up all of the legislators and ply them with some Zen tea and Macarons!

As soon as I left I told OU Boy. Me: “Can you believe it?” Him: ” Of course, you’re hot.” Seriously dude? That man has a one track mind, however he was still on pain medication for his back injury, so he could have just been high.

Today it is hotter than Kate Upton so I plan on enjoying it in my pink chair.  For today, at least, Anxiety -0  Patricia – 1!

Image result for tazo zen tea     Enjoy this one over ice…mmmmm!

Look For The Positive…Even If You Need To Squint!

It’s Tuesday…Therapy Day. A Multiple pots of tea day. Today I started out with a pot of Darjeeling. Because apparently Oklahoma has no respect for night-time. It is light out at 9 p.m. and light out before 6a.m.  and hot as Tabasco sauce outside already and I needed a light tea.

This is my Saturday and I was up late screaming along with KD and the Golden State Warriors last night!  Yes all of you Thunder fans, I’m still with you, but I love KD and you need to get over his leaving. We all go with what is best for ourselves and our career, so grow up.

Today has been different because I was up, had actual clothes on and was at the bank to do some business before noon. Now my entire day is off. But I still have therapy. The CBT seems to be working well for me. And this week will definitely be a test as I have a packed schedule of anxiety inducing events to get through.

I’m choosing to stay positive, play nice and just send out lots of glittery love vibes to the world. It is so much easier to do when all of y’all are so uplifting and sharing your own struggles. You are all my heroes!

Enjoy your day no matter what it is you are doing, and I’ll be keeping you all in my heart!

xx Patricia