The One Where We Go To The Ballpark and Come Home With a Black Eye!

Hello, you big yellow sun! How about we get together in a bit? I’m feeling in the pink today.

First, Momma solved the mystery. It was my brother who sent the Ensure. I so knew that. For Mother’s Day. I’m surprised he didn’t just send a coffin. He is the least sentimental person I know. Lawyers! But she was good with it. She likes the Strawberry ones.

Mr. Smokes is doing well. He was waiting at the door last night for his dinner and was purring happily. Then we had to drive to Wheeler Park for Charli Ava’s softball game, which they won!!!  Okay, so the other team didn’t have enough players to play or a coach. So we are still 3 and 0. Due to all of the rain, it’s been impossible to get everyone there but our team scrimmaged and part one was hilarious and part two was not.

Every time she gets on first she and the little boy are smiling and chatting. I told her to stop talking to him, but no.  So, he is playing first base and she hits a ground ball and he tags her out as she steps on base. I went into the dugout and she says, ” Why was I out?”

“Well, honey because he is not your friend. When you are on the field you have to ignore those boys because they are just trying to throw you off your game. During the game, they are the enemy.”  She wanted a challenge on the ruling. Her daddy told her to learn how to use her ‘girliness’ to her advantage. It’s a good thing she’s smart.

Corbin and I were sitting on the first bench of the bleachers when out of nowhere a ball brutally hit me in the face. In the eye. The eye with stitches in it. I had my sunglasses on and they were knocked off. It could have been worse. I have a black eye but hopefully no damage that I can tell. My son was upset because neither the kid or the parents apologized. This kid was throwing the ball in the bleachers! The parents just stood there looking at me. Being my child, Mike wasn’t letting it go and proceeded to make a speech about people not watching their children or teaching them accountability.

We have one more game to go to on Saturday and then I’m not going anywhere near balls!

Y’all have fun!

xx P

Happy Birthday, Times Two!

Happy Birthday, Momma! A true Charleston girl doing her thing. She is definitely one of those southern ladies who are oh so polite and sweet but has a spine of pure steel. I learned all my favorite cuss words from her. I also learned that if you want stuff in this world, you need to get off your ass and work for them!

She raised four daughters and none of us have been in jail. The bar is kind of low on that side. Also, it’s rather high. My momma’s people have been here forever. They fought in the Revolutionary War, signed the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, fought for the Confederacy, served in every war and I am proud of her and them.

So what is the best thing you can give your Momma on her birthday? This! Her first grandchild!

Happy Birthday, Bradley David! My momma was there when you were born and I swear that 36 hours of labor was her doing! Just so you could be her birthday baby. And spoiled rotten first grandchild.

I am so proud of this man! He is passionate about history, the Cubs, golf and his family. Plus he gave me this cutie pie next to him. I love him more than words can say.

Enjoy your weekend y’all!

TEA MAIL AND AWARDS!

teadeliveryharney

It’s difficult to be flippant today. We had an entire town disappear! And Missouri, we are with you in spirit. We are in for more tonight. Things have already been re-scheduled for earlier in the day. I’m over this now.

Yesterday the postman brought me these lovely teas from Harney & Sons Teas. I needed those iced ones! And the Ginger Peach is new to me. I don’t usually like anything peach flavored. I’m from Georgia, I know what a peach should taste like.

peachgingertea

This one had such a smooth, almost creamy taste and the peach was not flavoring. Just smelling it took me back to home and blanching millions of peaches (peaches for free), for Gracie to bake into pies and cobblers. It’s a keeper!

Last night we went to La Baguette for dinner and I discovered this!

Basilgimlet

A Basil Gin Gimlet. Dear Lord was it good. It’s the only picture I took because this isn’t Burger King. Tommy embarrassed me by ordering Dr. Pepper and then getting sick in the bathroom. Poor thing is still sick. I had the blackened snapper with Jasmine Rice and asparagus. For dessert, Vanilla Creme Brulee’.

Speaking of things re-scheduled, the school awards ceremony was pushed from later today to this morning. And this guy! Corbin won awards for Best Author and Best Storyteller! I am so proud I couldn’t love him anymore! Now I need to go get him a proper gift.  Maybe a Mont Blanc pen and a leather journal. LMAO This is the same 6-year old that  I gave a printer and computer to at Christmas.

corbinkindergarten

We are all praying everyone stays safe during this weather outbreak.

Enjoy your Thursday Y’all!

xx P

Jim Cantore is in Town! Here We Go!

Monday the 20th of May is not a good date for Oklahomans. One of our worst and deadliest tornadoes took place on this date. Many people died. On the Gulf Coast, we used to joke about Jim Cantore of The Weather Channel. We would ride out any hurricane unless Jim Cantore showed up. When he shows up things get real. He is in Moore right now. So we are a bit anxious.

Last night I started receiving texts. Schools all over the Metro are closed today and my doctor called and canceled my appointment for today. Businesses are closing early. Tommy is normally off today but not everyone has daycare today so he’s at Hyatt bringing up cases of flashlights and making sure everyone knows what to do. The poor out of town people are a bit panicked. We’ve already had one small hail storm.  So today is going to be interesting.

So my sister and I had our DNA testing done. One through MyHeritage.com and one through 23andMe. They said the exact same thing. We’ve always known who our people are. You can’t live in Charleston and not know your people. We knew two of our ancestors signed The Constitution but didn’t know one also signed the Declaration of Independence! I can’t say that any of them were saints. They were all well-known planters with strict slave rules. Not too proud of that one. Everyone else we knew about.

The breakdown was:  55.9% French, 32% UK (Scotland, Ireland, England) and 12.1% Scandinavian. The breakdown explains a lot. Like why when I get really mad I start speaking French with a very southern accent. I do speak it but rarely do. The Scandinavian part is Norway. Vestre. It looks like I have a good shot at moving to France if shit goes down in the U.S. In the UK we were in Leeds, Dundee, and County Cork. Walshes.

I’m going to make sure we have all of our storm supplies ready and then I’ll read a book.

Stay Safe Everyone in Tornado Alley today!

xx P

A Spot of Tea and a Funny Tale

Thursday and I am still in bed. With a lot of Tummy tea and an ice pack on my head.

Still no super hero abilities. This is my little bit of screen time today. Checking in to see if everyone has better weather than we do. Enough with the rain already!

I do have one funny story. My Momma is living totally out of her element right now. After my Daddy passed, we all knew he wanted to be buried with his entire family in Bottineau, North Dakota. So my Momma moved up there too since I have a sister living there. It is a tiny town that I spent all of my summers out at the farm. So yesterday I called the local florist to have some flowers sent to my Momma.

Me: Hello I would like to order an arrangement for my Momma

Her: (Imagine a Norwegian accent) Okay then, and her name?

Me: Barbara

Her: Patty? Is that you?

Me: Uh, yes.

Her: Oh my goodness how’s your eye? Don’t you worry about a thing, I’ll get over to Barbs tomorrow morning with something really cheery.

Me: Ok thanks. Who is this?

Her: Cathy Olson from the farm.

Me: Hi Cathy! How are you? It’s good to hear your voice

Her: You just go back to bed now. Take care of that head!

That is how small the town is. I never gave an address even. And sure enough my Momma sent me a text and a picture of the flowers this morning.

I love these people!

xx P

DOWN THE BUNNY TRAIL…AND PIE!

Good Friday! I’m wishing I was closer to my Momma this time of year so I could have her coconut cake. My momma is a world-class baker and cake decorator.  Between her coconut cake and her pound cakes we should all be morbidly obese by now.

The one thing we both loved was those Cream Cheese Mints that melt in your mouth and contain 2 pounds of powdered sugar! Yesterday I spent most of the day stirring and then rolling some into tiny egg shapes and the rest the round flat only I used a wax seal with my initials and made them all fancy. I’m mailing them to her.

The BEST Cream Cheese Mints you'll ever try! This incredibly easy recipe yields the most delicious, luscious, melt-in-your-mouth cream cheese mints around! Make them in any color you like! Perfect for Easter, baby showers, weddings, and more! // Mom On Timeout #candy #creamcheese #mints #recipe #dessert #party #babyshower #food #recipes #desserts #momontimeout #Easter #wedding     

Since it is Strawberry Season I had a fridge full of berries and Tommy said he had never heard of Strawberry Pie from Shoney’s!  Oh the horror! Luckily we know this one by heart so by the time he got here there was a counter full of drying mints, and a chilled strawberry pie with homemade whipped cream. It was perfect. Even the crust was British Baking Show quality. Which is rare for me.

I wish you all a lovely Easter and a grand weekend.  I’ll be reading and finishing some projects and am trying to stay off the internet so I don’t lose my mind with all the politics!

xx P

 

AT THIS POINT WE ARE REALLY JUST WINGING IT!

Piratepatty

Oh the many shades of yellow this time of year! As we were driving to multiple baseball practices yesterday evening we saw so many beautiful flowers. One home was surrounded by white tulips. It was a very bold choice but it worked very well.

I am basically just mainlining Chai today. You know the saying, ” Man plans and God laughs”….yep. I was prepared for anything. Except a last-minute field change for Charli Ava. We were dropped off and the boys headed for the Boathouse District for Corbin’s practice. Long story short, my girl got on base every time she hit and got stuck on second flirting with a boy on second and the little boy on first just ran around her. It was funny as heck. The team is made up of first timers and they all admitted to being nervous and scared. Having coached this age before I explained how things worked. Like what a bag is or a base. Somehow I’m now the Team Mom and will have snack duty for the rest of Spring.

Tommy picked us up and we all went to get Corbin. His Uncle was there with his little one. We arrive, James and Corbin have been horsing around and Corbin slid into a base and scraped his knee so now it’s blowing like crazy out and cold, Corbin is declaring his imminent demise while shoving muffin in his face and bleeding on my seats. Luckily we had a quick dinner before we left for the fields. Corbin couldn’t take a bath because he was dying and no one cared and if he got in the tub he would for sure die. Y’all know we are a dramatic bunch of Scots/Irish/Norwegian folks. We can spin a yarn, die on a daily basis and be stubborn as hell. So we chose not to fight this battle. Everyone was in bed on time and asleep soon after. Then we just sat there and stared at the blank television. Wondering if my Momma had wine. And is it okay to sleep in your clothes?

Around midnight or so we had a vicious storm move through. Big thunder and lightning which ended with Tommy sleeping in Corbins room until the storm passed. The only one who was an adult was Charli. She gets up as soon as the alarm goes off, makes her bed, hits up the bathroom rituals and eats breakfast she made herself. We had to re-bandage the scraped knee and get our Picture Day clothes on. By the time they were all out the door with lunches and backpacks I was understanding why my mother was always in a bad mood. Tommy just looked at me and said, “Thank you for not getting knocked up!”. My pleasure dude.

Corbin suggested that he call in sick on Friday because we needed to rest. I’m not one bit ashamed of at least thinking about it. But no activities tonight so it should be calmer. Should.

To all of you moms and dads out there getting your kids to school and practices on time…I salute you!  To the mom at practice who agreed it is okay to Uber them, I have wine now. Come over.

xx P

THE HISTORIC ROYAL PALACES COLLECTION

Wednesday already? Where did the time go? Saturday I was so happy to see this lovely red box from Harney and Sons! I knew it meant a Royal Palaces tea tin. I already have some others and these were the last two.

harneygreenteas

The Green Tea with Coconut, Ginger and Vanilla and Lemongrass. The aroma is very soft. This is a delicate tea. I steeped it for 3 minutes in not quite boiling water. It tasted smooth and bright with that zing of ginger left on the back of your tongue. There is the brightness of the green tea and the surprise of coconut and they all come together to make a perfect tea for anytime. I’ve had it twice hot and I made a chilled one as well and it was delicious.

Well Mike and Jodi are on a plane headed to D.C.  I may have (she did) have a major panic attack yesterday talking to Mike. I’m sobbing about him driving a bus that far and he pops in with You should be worried about the plane. Well that was it. I cried this morning when they dropped off an entire car load of things for the kids. Ballet, hip hop, t-ball, coach pitch, school picture clothes and uniforms. They already have double of everything here.

Yesterday we were doing prep work and I asked Tommy to make the mini-muffins. He did not do it correctly (her way) and I tossed them in the trash. This morning so far I’ve made 4 dozen blueberry muffins and 4 dozen chocolate chip muffins. 2 dozen Brownie Bites, a Red Velvet Cake and a sauce for pasta tonight. Lunches are planned out and snacks are grab and go. Tonight we have practice at 5 p.m. for Charli Ava and I am so OCD about being prepared. Although Corbin has already asked if he could just not go to school and stay with me. Now I have 2 and a half hours to wash my hair, Lay out clothes and read a book.

Hopefully I will be alive tomorrow. Or drunk. Who knows?

xx P

Friday Advice From The Flamingo

It’s Friday! Week one of Spring Break is over. Tomorrow baseball season begins. Tomorrow is when they get their gear and have a giant party on the lawn. I will be home baking bread and cookies and muffins. Everyone has disappeared. No, there is 1 lonely cookie in the cookie jar.

The first couple of days Thing One and Thing Two went to Dallas to spend some time with Grandpa Bob so there was a 24 hour period where we had to calm down and go to bed at a decent hour. Different rules and all. So yesterday Thing One was in rare form. He ran all day. Everywhere. He refused to get dressed in anything but his Black Panther slippers, a Spiderman shirt and a pair of shorts. And yes, I took him shopping in this outfit. There are battles that are not worth fighting. And as soon as we got home he stripped and was happy. The rest of us were not so we plopped him into a bubble bath and gave him some toys and closed the door.

This morning he was dressed and wanted Leprechaun cereal. Lucky Charms. I know they are going through a growth spurt, but man can they eat! They are like cows, grazing all day, pouring way too much tea in the cup and requesting a bread sandwich. Yes, that is 2 pieces of bread. TaDa!

He was also told not to pick on his sister….yeah that lasted 10 minutes. Finally I had them both on the sofa snuggled in watching the last 2 chapters of Stranger Things 2. Then he just punched her. I told him I was going to have to tell his Daddy that because he had specifically told him not to do that. His reply? “Oh, Granma, just don’t bring it up.””:I’m sorry, what?”  “Just lie.”  “No, sorry I’m not lying to your father.” “Do you not know how?” God save us all!  

Then my sister called and they were her problem. They grilled her on breakfast food.

Now I’m going to soak in a hot bubble bath and remember how to be an adult.

xx P