Rainy Saturdays and Pretty Pictures

by Audrey T

Saturday! Well we made it through another week relatively unscathed. It’s been rough and I am not going to lie, I don’t want to go through another week like this one.

I’m really in love with this collage. The red against the snow is so pretty. And I’m trying to make everything pretty today. We have been through a rough time and last night we slept good and hard. I mean the covers weren’t even ruffled! So who knows today I may feel up to eating food instead of just tea.

It’s been raining for days. Not like Noah and the Ark rain, just nice steady, good for the crops rain. Also good for reading and drinking tea, which is all I’ve done. This morning I woke up feeling better and already have Tommy’s chili simmering and a couple of boiled eggs for me.

I think we have gotten to a place of peace with the diagnosis. It has us circling the wagons and making our circle tight and safe. No negative people or thoughts, just us snuggling on the sofa every night holding each other tight and watching movies.

I have some new tea reviews coming next week. All good.  I hope your weekend is peaceful and restful.  In the meantime, have a good cuppa and some cake. It’s the week-end!

xx P

A NEW TEA AND A BETTER DOCTOR!

My mantra for the week. Before I forget I have found a new tea! It’s by Twinings and it is called Soothe and soothe it does! Obviously my Crohn’s is going to flare up with stress and not eating. I use turmeric quite a bit for its healing properties and somehow Twinings has gotten the blend just right. It’s turmeric, star anise, orange peel, lemon grass and licorice root.

So good

Being honest, it tastes like a good spice tea with a bit of dirt thrown in. Come on, it’s just like Matcha, that texture it leaves behind is like fine dirt. But it helps so I’ll keep drinking it.

Tommy has been overwhelmed by the amount of good wishes and support from all of y’all and his co-workers. Today’s update is this. We see our doctor tomorrow morning. In the meantime he had a voicemail from a surgeon we don’t know letting him know to call back to schedule the surgery. I’m sorry, what?? We haven’t even met the surgeon yet. He hasn’t looked at him yet. He could be any scalpel wielding serial killer in the Operating Room. So, no. Our heart guy was pissed off on our behalf and so we’re changing doctors. This one seemed a little to eager to cut open my husband without even meeting him.

So we both felt  a tremendous relief with Dr.H in the driver’s seat. You really have to trust your doctor, and we trust Dr. H. and whoever he trusts. And first thing in the morning we will find out what is going on.

Oklahoma City and it’s suburbs are odd. Weather wise. It was sleeting all over last night except at my house. Finally the police put out a text saying they would not be responding to non-injury accidents after having responded to 47 in 3 hours. There were 15 car pile ups, 7 car pile ups, trucks on fire. I-40 was backed up to the border. And all of a sudden I get a text from the kids schools that they are closing today. Are you kidding me?? You promised they would go back today! This morning I was watching the weatherman and he was just in awe of the 1/2 inch of snow blowing over the OU campus, which was closed due to weather. Here we didn’t get any snow, it’s just cold. I went to North Dakota State and I remember walking through 6 feet of snow to get to class and when the snow was past my front door my employer ( the hospital) sent a EMT on a snowmobile to pick me up from my bedroom window. Those are the people who will survive the zombie apocalypse.

So today I’ll not worry about the unknown or the great “snow” storm. Worrying just adds to your anxiety and lord knows the house is full of those damn anxiety fairies. Corbin even asked if I wanted him to bring some fairies from his house! Gotta love him.

I’ll try to be back tomorrow and update this. Stay Warm!!

xxP

 

A LATE HOLIDAY TEA ENTRY AND A FINAL F*** YOU FROM 2018

I realized this morning that I forgot to post this review of the last of my holiday teas. It’s Celestial Seasonings Cranberry Vanilla Wonderland. Caffeine Free! I was so excited by this one. I love cranberries! The aroma was a perfect combination of cranberry and vanilla. I couldn’t wait to taste it.

Now for the not so good news. It has Stevia in it. I kept tasting a bitter taste that just reminded me of chemicals, so I looked and sure enough it had this sweetener in it. With Crohn’s I am not able to eat any type of sweetener except honey. So it was a really great idea, but why put the sweetener in? Oh well.

So today is a tale I would rather not be telling but I need feedback, I need support and I thank my beautiful friend Cynthia for keeping me sane this past few days! She is the most supportive person I have ever met. She even offered to get in her truck and come up to us. I love her for that.

On December 30,  the year decided to give us one more F*** You!  We have been waiting on the results of tests Tommy (the hubby) had done for the tumors on his leg. We figured the one by his hip was just a fatty tumor, but even with our copy of the DVD of the MRI, we couldn’t tell what the other two were. So ‘Ting’ went his phone and it was a notice that results had been dropped in his patient portal. Hello, Dr. E has sent his findings to your surgeon Dr. C. Findings? Malignant neoplasm of connective and soft tissue of left leg and hip. Boom!  And just like that our world started spinning. The Anxiety Fairy brought a few friends even. And of course every doctor was out-of-town until the 3rd. Needless to say the past few days have been horrid. Lots of sobbing, anger and railing at the world about the unfairness of the situation.

The man isn’t even 40 for crying out loud and he has already had a double by-pass and 4 stents and numerous other heart issues. The last one they told me they couldn’t do any more. Things are all scribbly in there and they just can’t. Now he has never had high cholesterol, it’s all genetic. And now this. He is the kindest man you will ever meet and I am still so mad I want to hit someone until they hurt as bad as I do. ( Steel Magnolias.)

This morning he called his Cardiologist, Dr. H. Now that man is on the ball. We have an appointment on Friday. By then he will have all the scan and MRI results and one of his colleagues is an Oncologist right next door and he will walk us straight there if necessary. So our stress went down to a 20.

It’s always nice to begin a new year with a new project. Mine being a lot of research and also trying to figure out how we got mixed up so badly that now everytime I google anything it pops up on his phone! This can not happen. No one should see my browser history. Ever.  So that’s our news. I hope yours is better. Thanks for listening to my garbled mess of a post. And thanks for being a friend.

xx Patricia

Today’s Mood….Tired With a Touch of Anxiety

bluemood

So far Monday has been a multiple cups of strong tea day. It was 20 degrees outside and cold!

This has been a week-end. And because it has been a pretty bad one which included a trip to the ER, a lot of tears and hopefully soon some answers.

I am trying to keep that darn anxiety fairy quiet and calmly digest what our next move should be so OU Boy and I posted up on the sofas and watched Netflix. He was doped up on pain meds and I was randomly bursting into tears so watching Grace and Frankie was good. We cried, we laughed and went to bed very early as we had not slept the night before.

So, for a bit I may not be here as much. My first job is this man I love and I’m determined to fix him. All good wishes and prayers are welcome and appreciated.

xx P

SUNDAY, NOT FUNDAY, FUNNIES

   And this is one of those days.

   For all of us with social anxiety. Good idea.

   Of course I would expect some reciprocity here Cynthia.

My sanity is wearing thin these days, Janet. Vi  And this is why Janet had to go.

Morning Funny Memes 39 Pics   Sorry Momma….

  Tune in next week for our new Reality Show!

And as I leave you to go contemplate my navel, Could someone send the British back? Yeah, this isn’t working out. Time to go home to the Motherland. Thanks!

Muah!   P

Oh ALLERGIES! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? (SARCASM)

Esos 5 minutos que se necesitan para volver a estar de verdad en el mundo....

Even after a huge cup of Earl Grey Supreme, I could still return to the loving embrace of my bed. We are over here sneezing, coughing, and miserable. Allergies have returned with a vengeance. The only speaking going on is one of us saying, “Uh” or “Uh Uh”.

This rain is just miserable. Thankfully our friends on the Gulf Coast were spared extreme damage, but it’s still a mess.

I made a horrible mistake yesterday by watching the confirmation sham over Kavanaugh. This has to be the worst thing I have ever seen. I would not have been surprised if the whole lot of them got throttled by Kamala Harris. So many old men in one place. So my anxiety was amped up more than it should have been. Today I’m not even turning the television on. We are taking to the bed with books and tea and hoping the world rights itself soon.

All the shoe burning was interesting. Here’s the thing. You already paid for the shoes. Nike doesn’t give a shit what you do to them. Personally we went and bought more. Because we aren’t ignorant or racist. Nike will be just fine.

I shall be off of my soap box now and heading to the bed that is whispering my name! Have a wonderful day and Be Kind.

xx Patricia

OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN…SORRY!

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I did. I totally forgot our anniversary on the 11th. I have never gotten it right. Once in a while I wake up bubbly ( you know that’s a lie) and say Happy Anniversary on the 10th.  And OU Boy reminds me it’s the 11th. I think I have a perfectly good excuse. My niece was born on the 11th, my sister on the 12th. Those dates are chiseled into my brain. If you add another event on those days, I’m not going to remember it.

Yesterday I tried to stay off of Social Media because I was in a bad mood. Tears for no apparent reason, picking a row with anyone I met. Yep, the Depression Fairy had somehow wormed her way into my head. I was just so unbearably sad. So I decided to clean the closets. Things were going well even as I used a lot of foul language about the empty float boxes in OU Boy’s closet. Really?? And then I went for the hall coat closet. Where I store all of my blankets and vintage linens on the top shelf. I reached for them and water poured down my arm and the smell of mildew was overwhelming.

There was a leak in the a/c line. I cried, I cussed, I cleaned it all out and had to get rid of a few things and start soaking others. When I took out the trash my neighbor asked how I was today. “Not today, Bert. Not Today.” Not proud of that. So basically my life was over now. I did a mental inventory of the things that had happened leading up to this and I could see quite plainly what the issue was. Stand next to negative people and see if you don’t start feeling upset, unsettled and just bad. So I made a cup of Earl Grey, grabbed a book and sat in the bath for 2 hours.

Today I’m still not 100 percent on the sadness, but that’s depression, she comes and goes as she pleases. Basically I am a creature of habit. Order. Not a speck out-of-place. And when that doesn’t happen I freak out. Today I am going to just float in the pool and try to drown that particular fairy!

Have a good one!  And thanks for always listening and encouraging!

xx Patricia

GOOD ADVICE FROM THE COLOR ORANGE

Orange is the word of the day! Because it is hot. Summer is hitting us with highs in the 90’s and I am happily putting away a ton of this Blood Orange Iced Tea from Harney & Sons!

This little pitcher is pretty cool. It holds 2 quarts which is what one bag of the Iced Teas make. I toss in oranges too so this little gem not only has an ice core but tiny perforations so the tea comes out and keeps the stuff you stick in there out of your glass. I drink a pitcher a day.

Sunday was a pretty quiet day here. I was reading Sold on a Monday which is set in the 30’s and 40’s. It is a story sparked by a photo in 1948 showing 4 children for sale. It is such a wonderful story. Then the Anxiety Fairy swept through the door and I have no idea why. But she is still lurking around and I’m trying not to be a total bitch today so I will be staying in and reading and waiting her out.

I have nothing to be anxious about so I’m stumped. I’ve done all of my CBT exercises and I just don’t have answers. If I see one more article saying “How to get rid of your anxiety in 5 steps”. Yeah, no. That’s not how it works. Not how any of this works. So I’m going to be kind to myself today and stay away from people. I’ve been peopling too much.

Have a good Monday. Be Nice. Turn off the news~

xx Patricia

THE GIFT OF GRATITUDE

Time to put the kettle on and grab a cup! Needing an extra boost of caffeine today, I opted for a good English Breakfast tea from Taylor’s. Just the thing.

I am quite sure I have been the most ungrateful person in the world this week. Well maybe not as much as the Orange Cheeto Man, but for me pretty awful. Everything has irritated me and I really just want everyone out of my house and have some peace and quiet.

This morning I had a long talk with myself in the mirror and I was totally ashamed. I can blame part of it on the anesthesia but the rest was just pure frustration. So I would like to say I am grateful. For the talented doctors at Dean Mcgee. For the great nurses in recovery and in pre-op. For OU Boy for putting up with me whining and crying and generally being a baby. For Harney and Sons having a package waiting for me as soon as I got home.

I’m grateful that I can come here and read your blogs and not have to think about recovery and the eyeball. That I can laugh at your tales, learn from your baking and get some great book recommendations. I wonder how Cynthia is getting along with the septic system, how is Cecilia getting on with the new farm babies? How is Garfield’s Mom? Who has the best TBR list this week? See, each and every one of you helps me and I am grateful.

I had forgotten for a minute to be grateful every day and let myself down by doing that. So I’m going to be really present today and make sure all of the people I love know how grateful I am for having them in my life.

Thanks Y’all! And to OU Boy, I am not bossy, those are Leadership Skills Dude!

xx Patricia